The following is supposedly an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one
student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is H3ll exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the
following:
First, we need to know how the mass of H3ll is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into H3ll
and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to H3ll, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering H3ll, let's look at the
different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to H3ll?? Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to H3ll. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in H3ll
to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in H3ll because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in H3ll to stay the same, the volume of H3ll has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If H3ll is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter H3ll, then the temperature and pressure in H3ll will
increase until all H3ll breaks loose.
2. If H3ll is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in H3ll, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
H3ll freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in H3ll before I sleep
with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that
H3ll is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since H3ll has frozen over,
it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
kept shouting?? "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"