Emergency Rooms, Highways, and Respirators! Oh My!

[Vallikat]

*tight, tight, huggles*



I'm so sorry Dani. I wish there was some way I could help.

[Innari]

Update

A couple people have asked me for an update on things happening. So here's a quickie.

Mom - She's home. Her legs and stomach still swell up a lot if she's on her feet, which ultimately means she's consuming too much sodium. Doctors have basically told her she can have very little sodium for this reason. She has not had a drink so far as I can tell. And that was my ultimate concern. It still is my major concern. My father has asked that I come over several times a week to make sure is doing ok and to see if she needs anything. While in I respect his thoughts on this...he hasn't been around Mum as much in the last several years because he's a long-haul truck driver. Mum is supremely independent. If I go over and do her vacuuming and laundry (which I'm more than willing to do) ... she will feel like she's losing her independence. Loss of independence for Mom will put her right back on the bottle. And I can't have that. Mom has said about as much to me as well. So I call her on a regular basis, as does my younger brother, make sure she's ok and see if there is anything I can pick up and bring out to her. I always make sure to do a few things at the house when I'm there, but always ask first. Ultimately, right at the moment, she is doing well. As far as I can tell.

Though...a certain thought hits me damn near every day. It's not over. She's not better. She isn't miraculously going to recover. Liver disease doesn't work that way. In six months, I'm going to be worried about how her transplant evaluation is going. And after that (assuming she makes the list)...how long she'll have to wait. Ultimately...how long she'll live. And it chokes me up, every time I think about it. All I want to do, is throw a temper-tantrum and scream "why me?!?!" at the forces that be. But that does no one any good, and doesn't get anything done. So I'll go ahead and grow up now.

Car- I have it back finally. Thank god. I have so missed my independence. It was not fun cleaning it, but, in the end, it's fine really. I still need to take a picture of the "Post-Fix" so ya'll can see it. Couple minor things I had to do myself. Put on a new driver-side mirror. Put my wipers back on. (To which I say "Carquest...ffs...your JOB is to know what kind of nut I need. That's your JOB! You have books and computers for that!") But all said and done, it's back, and it makes me happy.

So there. There's the Dani update.

This thread is kind of becoming my own Grid Journal. And that's a healing thing for me. Thank ya'll for reading. I appreciate it.

[Joshuwa]

I feel for you.

Man.. Good luck, to not just your family.. But every family that has a drinker in it.. (Mine included )

[Groundrunner]

Dear Danyoo,

I'm not used to writing in a forum (actually this is my first post here), so please bare with me. I've read a couple of threads here before, and today my eyes fell upon your thread, and I feel, that I also have to express my sympathy.

It's difficult to find the right words, because I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced the same, knows how you feel. But I hope that talking about your situation can help you vent some of the frustration you must be feeling at the moment. I guess this goes to show, that bad things DO happen to good people.

I know you don't know me (I've only seen you once or twice). But even though I'm a complete stranger to you, I hope that you will find a little comfort in knowing, that somewhere in Scandinavia, someone is thinking about you and your family and wishing you well.

I wish you the very best,

Groundrunner [RK2]

[Innari]

Groundrunner,

The fact that your first post here...was not to comment on some funny joke or some cute picture...but rather to express your concern and sympathy for my family...means more to me than you might imagine.

I appreciate every word you say, and every thought you send my way. I am mostly an RK1er...but feel free to send me messages at your whim. I always like hearing from people.

Thank you so much fory our heartfelt sympathies.

Always,
Dani

[Innari]

Update

Things seem to be going well for the most part with Mom. I haven't gotten to see her as much as I would like for a couple of reasons. 1) I'm broke. No, I'm not broke, I'm under broke...whatever you call that. I am likely to bounce a check in the week, and I don't look forward to that. Thank you Landlord for understanding. NOT! Jerk.

Anyway, the second reason I've not been able to see Mom, is my Dad and I are kind of on the out right now. I went over this last weekend to see Mom and Dad. Didn't really have the money to do it, but did it anyway. Dad is cleaning the garage when I get there. I haven't seen him in 2 weeks. I get out and the following happens:

Me: Hey Dad!
Dad: Where were you this last week?
Me: I couldn't afford to drive out here Dad. I am hardly affording to eat right now. I called Mom several times to see if she needed anything.
Dad: You should have been here anyway.

O.o ... Thank you for the warm reception. Love you too. Not a "Hey Danielle, how are ya?" ... or "Missed you! Where ya been?" ...no...he started right out grilling me on my absence.

Don't get me wrong about this situation, I love my mother dearly. And I want to be there every moment I can. I can NOT drop work to be there unless something serious is happening. I really am not surviving as it is. I'm making ends meet until tax season rolls around when I can finally start working overtime again. I can't pay all my bills. I can't afford my rent. I need every drop of gas in my car just to get back and forth from work.

Anyway, I didn't really want to rant so much. So I'll stop that.

In other news, work is going decently right now, save for the lack of hours. Not a whole lot I can do about that until tax season. I'll live I'm sure.

Started Weight Watchers today. Yep, I'm petrified of the scale. For good reason. It speaks the truth. But, I think I can do it. No, I know I can do it. My current goal is to lose 30 pounds in 12 weeks. A little under 3 pounds a week. Doable. Just gotta stick to the points.

Need to send out a couple Thank Yous. A couple people have been worried about me and hoping I was okay with everything going on in my life.

Vallikat ~ Girl, what would I do without you right now? We had our momentary differences, but I'm so damn close to you. I feel like we've been friends nearly all our lives. You've given me insight and inspiration into my current situation and I can't thank you enough for that.

Talidro ~ *smiles* You amaze me. You've got so much going on in your world right now, that you took the time to ask me how I was doing every time you log in, amazes me. I will always think of you as a near and dear friend because of your concern. And you know I return it 100%.

Mivat ~ I don't know what to say, other than, thank you. You've put up with more of my crap than most anyone I think. All the countless hours talking. I miss that. But life is the way it is. Thank you.

Veldron ~ All I can say is, your true support for me amazes me. I walked in "off the street" and started dancing at one of your shows. Shikome showed me the way. That is a day I will never forget. You warmly welcomed me. You have since made me feel like a true part of your online family. You read my emotions pretty well, and know when things are about to hit the fan. Just a simple "You ok?" means the world to me. Thank you for making me feel like I belong.

So I've read that, and after reading it...it looks like I'm leaving AO. But I'm not. So no worries. Just wanted to say some things publically to people that have done a lot and meant a lot to me. If you aren't on that list, I thank you anyway. These 4 people have gone above and beyond. And I needed to "call them out" to let people know what they have meant and do mean to me. Just because you aren't there, doesn't mean I don't like you or anything like that...I've just grown very close to these 4 people.

*hugs for everyone*

I'll end with a bright note. I get a customer on the phone tonight. And his working in a file in the program I support.

Customer: I'm trying to save the file I'm working on. But when I click save it says "This file has been marked complete. To make changes to the file, please go back to the file manager, clear the check from the 'complete' box and then attempt to save the file again."
Me: Ok.
Customer: What do I do?
Me: *dies*

*smiles* Hope ya'll are doin' well.

[Ashval]

*snuggles Dani*

"You ok?"

[Innari]

*snuggles Dani*

"You ok?"

*snuggles Veld back* Yah.

[Talidro]

*huggles Danigirl*

[Innari]

Update

Argh.

Today has been absolutely miserable. Get to work, and have approximately 150 more contacts to enter into our Customer Database. That's on top of the 100 or so I still have to do. Not a real big deal. Except that it takes me approximately 1 hour to enter 30 contacts if I'm completely uninterrupted. Is that possible? No. I work tech support. Tomorrow (Saturday) is a major deadline for the IRS, and therefore our customers. Phones ring off the hook. Lots of people who wait until the last minute to discuss a problem with the return they are trying to file. So I don't get any contacts entered.

My supervisor is leaving for vacation. Normally you would think she would be in a good mood. Is she? Hell no. This doesn't directly impact me because I just do my job and all is well. No, I just have to listen to her whine and complain and cry for like...oh...6 hours. Thank you, I appreciate that.

6PM rolls around and I get a raging and I mean raging headache. Migraine. All I want to do is crawl into a dark, dark corner and close my eyes. Can I get off the phone? No. I must work, because we don't have enough people on the phones today. Thank you management for forgetting a major deadline was tomorrow. Thank you.

Phones turn off at 8pm. Am I off the phone? No. Sweet old customer needs to remove files from his computer so our computer has room to move and run. *groan* ...8:45 and I am finally off the phone. Only other people in the building are Ryan (my boyfriend) working in his department and one IT guy. Oh, and I still have a raging migraine.

I can't leave until 10pm because that's when Ryan gets off. This I don't mind at all. Gives me a little time to myself. I check the forums and then go back upstairs to sit and talk with Ryan while he works. Yes, I still have a Migraine, and there is nothing I can do about it.

10PM. Hooray! I can go home! Get into the car. Car won't start. There has not been a damn thing wrong with it. Not weird noises, nothing. Just won't start. Call Ryan's Dad to have him come boost the car (thinking it's a battery issue). We have to wait until 11:45pm'ish when he gets off work. Ok...kinda sucky. I still have a Migraine.

11:45PM. Ryan's Dad shows up and attempts to boost the car. No go. Nothing. Not even a clicking. Ryan's Dad has been a mechanic for nearly 30 years. He doesn't think it's anything major, perhaps just a neutral switch in the shifter that wasn't triggered properly. Needless to say, can't get the car started. His Dad gives us a ride home. I still have a migraine.

And now, before I crash, I write this post. And I still have a migraine.

Goodnight all. Hope you all sleep well.

[Innari]

Update

Got the car fixed today. ...needed a new starter. *sigh* ...and Chrysler's are not known for cheap parts. $325.03 later...I have my car back.

Argh.

Meanwhile, the people at the shop have been good friends of mine for a long time. Well, 5 years or so...they redid my parents truck after I rolled it. (Not my fault.) Wanted to know how mum and dad were doing. So I had to go through the whole story. They were amazed. They had no idea that mum was an alcoholic. Made me smile when they said she was pretty. And at the same time, my heart hit the floor. But it was good to see them again, regardless.

~Dani

[Rehab]

the worst are japanese car replacements they cars run for ages but when they go it costs alot

[Tristalyn]

Dani, you and your family are in my prayers. I pray your mother is able to recover and live healthy for years to come.

*hugs Dani tight*

We love you sweetie.

[Innari]

Thanks Twisty. *snugglehugs*

Any future updates to this will be made over at http://blog.myspace.com/danibunkins

There are are a couple posts already there.