A disturbing trend in todays culture

[brudus_maximus]

I would like to point out a very disturbing trend in todays culture. Its a push for young people to figure out "what they want to do with their life". They expect people by the time they are 23 to have completley planned out their complete profesional life. Its mainly pushed by these people who are 17 or 18 and have every aspect planned out and have already have taken major steps. I would like to point out one thing. THESE ARE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE.

If your 24 and your still living at home and still trying to figure out your lot in life, its okay, your not a faliure in life. My mom told me I can live at home as long as I want as long as I have a job.

[Merkaba]

I agree dude. My mom says the same thing as well by the way.

[Tarryk]

In the words of Baz Luhrman,

"Dont feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, dont congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - all your choices are half chance, and so are everybody elses."

[Nexeus]

I would like to point out a very disturbing trend in todays culture. Its a push for young people to figure out "what they want to do with their life". They expect people by the time they are 23 to have completley planned out their complete profesional life. Its mainly pushed by these people who are 17 or 18 and have every aspect planned out and have already have taken major steps. I would like to point out one thing. THESE ARE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE.

If your 24 and your still living at home and still trying to figure out your lot in life, its okay, your not a faliure in life. My mom told me I can live at home as long as I want as long as I have a job.

You know, I'm one of those people from the opposite end of the spectrum... I thought I had my life figured out and now, I haven't a fucking clue. This is reassuring to know that others feel that not haivng life figured out at 24 is a good thing... then again I wonder what is it on the norm?

[Innari]

I'm 22...and I've not a freakin' clue what I want. I had it all figured out when I left high school. I was going to be a psychiatrist...

er...Writer...

er...Teacher...


uh...Veterinarian...

oh..yah! Computer Technician!

and...mother!!



So ya...I have no clue...

[Zephem]

When I was 9 years old, I knew I was going to be a pediatrition.

I knew that until I was about 15 years old. Then I realized I had a gift for solving technical problems and handling customer support issues.

I'm getting ready to move to another state. I'm leaving my mom's house for the first time ever. She's freaking out at me. I'm getting massively stressed and feeling guilty over making the decision. I still haven't told everyone from my work, where I've been since I was 17 years old.

At 22, you aren't supposed to know what you're going to do. At 80 years old you're not supposed to know either.

Actually, that's a lie.

There's one thing I know what you're supposed to do. Have fun. Because a sucky sad and depressed life isn't one that I would want to have.

[Gridfan]

I've always known the answer,
and now I'll reveal it to you all:

I am what I am, I am the now! - Gridfan

[Vallikat]

Next month I'll be 38 years old. I've been married and widowed. I'm the mother of a 14 year old. I've been through trials and tribulations. I feel that I've paid my dues, as it were. I consider myself to be an adult for whatever it's worth. Yet I still have no clue in hell what I want to be when I grow up.

[Mivat]

I'm 29, and I've got no clue (or any real interest) in knowing what I want to be when and if I ever grow up.

Hell, I've got around 16lbs of Lego-bricks. I'm 29 years old, and I STILL think that building stuff with Lego is some of the most fun I can have.

I'm never growing up. I'm going to be a kid at heart until the day that I'm pushing up the daisies.

[Tacz]

I'm 15, and I know I want to be a Roboticist

But hey, everyone does their own thing.

[Jairyn]

I'm 20 years old.. I've been a Pizza Delivery Guy.. a Tier 2 Internet Support Technician.. And now I'm an Audio Engineer / DJ..

I have no clue what the hell I'm doing now, or will be doing ever.

[Mire]

I would like to point out a very disturbing trend in todays culture. Its a push for young people to figure out "what they want to do with their life". They expect people by the time they are 23 to have completley planned out their complete profesional life. Its mainly pushed by these people who are 17 or 18 and have every aspect planned out and have already have taken major steps. I would like to point out one thing. THESE ARE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE.

If your 24 and your still living at home and still trying to figure out your lot in life, its okay, your not a faliure in life. My mom told me I can live at home as long as I want as long as I have a job.

So, I am not normal then.

At the age of 15 I knew exactly what I wanted my profesional life.

I think the belief behind these young ones who you say are pushing this culture (which has been around for a very long time mind you) is valid, even though how they try to put it across is incorrect.

It shouldn't be that your life is planned, but that you have at least a goal or an idea to strive for.

[Tarryk]

So, I am not normal then.
At the age of 15 I knew exactly what I wanted my profesional life.

No, but what's normal?

Some would call you blessed with a planned life. Some would call you cursed with the lack of adventure. But no-one can judge you as a person for making up your mind.

But I can say three things with assuredness:

((I should add to this: I have no idea how old you are now, this entire statement is directed at those who are in their mid-teens and think they're sure, not at you individually))

1. No-one at 15, no matter how sure they are, has ever made such a decision. You will change your mind.

2. You do not believe #1 for a second, because no-one your age ever has.

3. When you're in your late twenties, you'll be telling these three rules to teenagers.

And trust me, I can empathize with the knee-jerk reaction any teen would have to that set of rules, because I would have had the exact same reaction. No, I can't define you as a person, nor can I claim that I know how sure you are, nor can I assume to predict the future. Nevertheless, those rules apply. Ask anyone over 25. It's the next 10 years of your life that the biggest changes will happen, and unless you have a genetic shoe-in (i.e. your family is a long line of doctors and therefore you are obligating yourself to the task), your decision is not even close to finalized yet.

I just warn you not to take that as a challenge. It's in the next 10 years that you should relish whatever changes come, and hang on to the memories that those changes cause.

((EDIT #2: Gawd I read this back over and it sounds way more preachy than it's intended to be...I guess final addendum: there are exceptions to every rule, and I'm not exactly Mr. Always Right.))

It shouldn't be that your life is planned, but that you have at least a goal or an idea to strive for.

True and arguable at the same time, but that's all semantics. Everyone should strive for something at all times, you're right. But I never liked the idea of ultimate goals. The AT walk was a goal, but certainly not an ultimate one, as it would not encompass the remainder of my life. GSP is a goal, but does not encompass what I am (though it gets pretty darn close).

So yes, strive for ideas, and set them into goals, but they don't have to be grand schemes of glory.

Don't let the media persuade you into thinking you'll be rich. Some of the coolest people on the planet are struggling and working menial jobs, and most of them wouldn't change a thing.

A poor man with honor is worth 10,000 rock stars.

[Mire]

So, I am not normal then.
At the age of 15 I knew exactly what I wanted my profesional life.

No, but what's normal?

Some would call you blessed with a planned life. Some would call you cursed with the lack of adventure. But no-one can judge you as a person for making up your mind.

I believe you made an error in takeing what I said as I planned my life. I said I knew exactly what I wanted my profession life to be. I wasn't arrogant enough then to try to plan it, nor am I now. I was just strong in my desire to get what I knew I wanted.

But I can say three things with assuredness:

1. No-one at 15, no matter how sure they are, has ever made such a decision. You will change your mind.

Very untrue and very short sighted. I did and have lived up to that desicion. I do so every day. It can happen as early as 10 or as late as 50. The age is not what determins when you can make such a desicion it is the events in your life and how those events effect you as a person, on a much deeper level.

2. You do not believe #1 for a second, because no-one your age ever has.

Second flaw in this response. It has nothing to do with belief. It is a cold hard fact of my life. One of which I have a constant reminder of every day.

3. When you're in your late twenties, you'll be telling these three rules to teenagers.

I did the exact opposit and still do in my mid 30's. I do not and have tried not to all my adult life tell anyone what they could believe, couldn't believe and ultimatly what they can or can't achieve. The only thing I tell them is your life is your own, live it, allow no one's judments to deter you in living it, but make sure you do not ignore the lessons taught while you live it.

And trust me, I can empathize with the knee-jerk reaction any teen would have to that set of rules, because I would have had the exact same reaction. No, I can't define you as a person, nor can I claim that I know how sure you are, nor can I assume to predict the future. Nevertheless, those rules apply. Ask anyone over 25. It's the next 10 years of your life that the biggest changes will happen, and unless you have a genetic shoe-in (i.e. your family is a long line of doctors and therefore you are obligating yourself to the task), your decision is not even close to finalized yet.

I just warn you not to take that as a challenge. It's in the next 10 years that you should relish whatever changes come, and hang on to the memories that those changes cause.

It shouldn't be that your life is planned, but that you have at least a goal or an idea to strive for.

True and arguable at the same time, but that's all semantics. Everyone should strive for something at all times, you're right. But I never liked the idea of ultimate goals. The AT walk was a goal, but certainly not an ultimate one, as it would not encompass the remainder of my life.

True, it wouldn't have encompassed the remainder of your life, but the answer to weather it would have changed your life will not be known till you are old and remembering the things you have done, not done shouldn't have done.

GSP is a goal, but does not encompass what I am (though it gets pretty darn close).

So yes, strive for ideas, and set them into goals, but they don't have to be grand schemes of glory.

Totally agree, ideas and goals don't have to be grand schemes.

Don't let the media persuade you into thinking you'll be rich. Some of the coolest people on the planet are struggling and working menial jobs, and most of them wouldn't change a thing.

And at the same time, don't let the cool people who are struggling and working menial jobs to influence you not to strive to be rich.

[Alexa [Bot]]

Good points all around, Mire.

I believe you made an error in takeing what I said as I planned my life. I said I knew exactly what I wanted my profession life to be. I wasn't arrogant enough then to try to plan it, nor am I now. I was just strong in my desire to get what I knew I wanted.

Good call.

Very untrue and very short sighted. I did and have lived up to that desicion. I do so every day. It can happen as early as 10 or as late as 50. The age is not what determins when you can make such a desicion it is the events in your life and how those events effect you as a person, on a much deeper level.

Disagreed wholeheartedly, I'm afraid. I think short-sightedness is in thinking that a teenager has the developed mental capacity and life experience required to reach a decision like that and have the means to mentally set it in stone. None do, save for a select few Doogie Howsers of the world. But some get lucky enough to make the right decision the first time, and perhaps not realize that it was sheer luck that they made the call they did.

Second flaw in this response. It has nothing to do with belief. It is a cold hard fact of my life. One of which I have a constant reminder of every day.

Sounds more like a rare exception to the rule rather than a denial of the rule's validity.

I did the exact opposit and still do in my mid 30's. I do not and have tried not to all my adult life tell anyone what they could believe, couldn't believe and ultimatly what they can or can't achieve. The only thing I tell them is your life is your own, live it, allow no one's judments to deter you in living it, but make sure you do not ignore the lessons taught while you live it.

You kinda agreed and disagreed at the same time there. I'm not telling anyone what to have faith in or what they're capable of. I'm stating the fact that individual mental evolution not only has the capacity to cause change in one's life path, but practically requires that change to happen. Denying it and forcing oneself into a set path at such an early age is akin to asking for misery, and I've seen it happen too many times. The way to lay out the fondest of memories is to allow the future to happen without convincing yourself that you will be less of a person for changing your mind. This allows for the natural (and very necessary) mental evolution to take place.

True, it wouldn't have encompassed the remainder of your life, but the answer to weather it would have changed your life will not be known till you are old and remembering the things you have done, not done shouldn't have done.

Everyone remembers what they had done or what they could have done in their teen years. But too few people understand how blessed they are to have been given the choice in the first place, regardless of how they walked forward through it.

And at the same time, don't let the cool people who are struggling and working menial jobs to influence you not to strive to be rich.

I must disagree again, on fair terms. Striving forward to achieve a goal to increase one's self-worth is one thing.

But I have never and will never subscribe to the theory that it is even remotely healthy for anyone to progress through a particular path on the sole desire to have s*&#loads of money. EVER. And I'm glad as hell my father taught me that.

I say never strive to be rich under any circumstances. Strive to have honor in doing what you want with your life, and pay no matter the financial outcome beyond it's basic necessity.

[Crushproof]

I'm 26, and all I know for sure is that I want Hugh Hefner's job.

[Tarryk]

I'm 26, and all I know for sure is that I want Hugh Hefner's job.

Now being permanently retired, never wearing anything but pajamas, slippers, and a smoking jacket, and being constantly surrounded by half naked completely fake women? Worthy. Shoot for your dreams, man.

[Mire]

Quote:
Very untrue and very short sighted. I did and have lived up to that desicion. I do so every day. It can happen as early as 10 or as late as 50. The age is not what determins when you can make such a desicion it is the events in your life and how those events effect you as a person, on a much deeper level.

Disagreed wholeheartedly, I'm afraid. I think short-sightedness is in thinking that a teenager has the developed mental capacity and life experience required to reach a decision like that and have the means to mentally set it in stone. None do, save for a select few Doogie Howsers of the world. But some get lucky enough to make the right decision the first time, and perhaps not realize that it was sheer luck that they made the call they did.

You and I will continue to disagree on this subject it seems. We have before if I recall. I am not sure if it is to the fact that I do not inscribe to the belief of luck, or that I just can not come to the point where I know what happens with the brain at what age. I can only go by my own life experiences and compare them to stories of other people’s life experiences.

Quote:

Second flaw in this response. It has nothing to do with belief. It is a cold hard fact of my life. One of which I have a constant reminder of every day.

Sounds more like a rare exception to the rule rather than a denial of the rule's validity.

I again have to say we will always disagree on this. Perhaps it is just my nature to buck anyone’s attempt at trying to force these types of rules not just on me, but on anyone. Or maybe I just see the world in a range of possibilities instead of the obstacles put in front of me by others.

Quote:
I did the exact opposite and still do in my mid 30's. I do not and have tried not to all my adult life tell anyone what they could believe, couldn't believe and ultimately what they can or can't achieve. The only thing I tell them is your life is your own, live it, allow no one's judgments to deter you in living it, but make sure you do not ignore the lessons taught while you live it.

You kinda agreed and disagreed at the same time there. I'm not telling anyone what to have faith in or what they're capable of. I'm stating the fact that individual mental evolution not only has the capacity to cause change in one's life path, but practically requires that change to happen.

Wait, first you say a person of age 15 can’t have the capability to make such a solid decision in their life, then saying you are not telling anyone what they are capable of? I agree, the individual mental evolution has the capacity to cause change in one’s life path, but to require the change I disagree with. Another time we will continue to look at this train of thought differently.

Denying it and forcing oneself into a set path at such an early age is akin to asking for misery, and I've seen it happen too many times. The way to lay out the fondest of memories is to allow the future to happen without convincing yourself that you will be less of a person for changing your mind. This allows for the natural (and very necessary) mental evolution to take place.

I can’t agree with the first statement, yet totally agree with you on the second and last statement. One doesn’t have to convince themselves that they will be less of a person for changing their mind, yet at the same time one isn’t less of a person if they stay the course and peruse the agenda or goals they have set for themselves at any age, be it young or old.

Quote:
And at the same time, don't let the cool people who are struggling and working menial jobs to influence you not to strive to be rich.

I must disagree again, on fair terms. Striving forward to achieve a goal to increase one's self-worth is one thing.

Which is exactly what I meant.

But I have never and will never subscribe to the theory that it is even remotely healthy for anyone to progress through a particular path on the sole desire to have s*&#loads of money. EVER. And I'm glad as hell my father taught me that.

Which I agree with.

I say never strive to be rich under any circumstances. Strive to have honor in doing what you want with your life, and pay no matter the financial outcome beyond it's basic necessity.

Unless of course someone is older, and still defines their happiness through how much money they have. In which case I can't help, the damage is done.

I believe you and I have different perceptions and understandings of what the meaning of the word rich is. This is where in my opinion you fall into the same trap you warn others not to do by following the media’s standard for what being rich means. But, as you and I both have proven, we all have opinions and none of them are less valid then the next. Only difference is how we came to those opinions and how they shape our lives.

It is interesting though, that you and I do seem to share some of the same concepts, we just perceive them differently and go about defining them differently as well.

Cuddos on the good discussion!
Cheers!

[Boinky]

I've always known the answer,
and now I'll reveal it to you all:

I am what I am, I am the now! - Gridfan

I thought you were the Gridler.... and toxic

[Vallikat]

Wait, first you say a person of age 15 can’t have the capability to make such a solid decision in their life, then saying you are not telling anyone what they are capable of?

I am not entering this debate. I only want to say that it is a medical fact that 15 year old brains are not yet fully developed. Not saying that is what Tarryk was getting at. Just my penny's worth.

That is all... Please continue, as I do enjoy reading a good debate.