I'm confused, but what's new? (Dating Question)

[Mumon]

I have a date (and I've not been on a date in 2 years)... I need tipes on how not to screw things up.

Here are the details I have...

It's going to be at a Sports bar tomarrow (the 30th depending on what Time Zone your in)
The sports bar is doing Scarryokie (Like Karieokie but done the day before holoween)
I can sing some songs, but I don't know what songs I can sing.

I'm worried. Will I make so much of a fool of my self that I won't see a date again for anouther two years, or perhaps I'll get lucky and never have to worry about finding a date again (Actualy I would just be happy for somewhere in between there, I don't need extremes right now)?

So help me, help me, help me. I have less than twenty-four hours before I test my dusty dating skills.

[Otori]

Well, first of all, do you have your head yet? Last I saw, which was not so many hours ago, it was still missing. I find that usually chicks like you to have a head....I dont think the size really matters, at least thats what Katiblu said that she used to say until she met me . Get your head, fasten it on, and then buy her lots of drinks...prolly not a good idea to "scaryoke" on the first date, but its ok if she does. Then when she gets done embarrising herself, buy her a bunch more drinks and comfort her wounded ego, then buy her some more drinks.....I can't think of anything else past that, except for buying her more drinks.

Good Luck!

[Ashval]

At the risk of making an arse of myself...having the guts to go on stage and do kareoke (or whatever they're calling it for Halloween) CAN make an impression. Just pick a song you're good at.

Most importantly...be yourself and don't play games. Women are attracted to confident men who speak their mind.

[Xtrophic]

Just be yourself basicly. And as Otori says, buy her lots of drinks

[DethAngel]

Dont act like you are trying to get her in bed on the first date. Don't continuously talk about sex. A little is perhaps ok in the overall conversation, but don't make her think you are some sex starved schmuck.

Don't be judgemental, just relax and be friendly.

[Oddysee]

The last was the best piece of advice you'll ever get...

RELAX!!!

if you're edgy, the mood will be edgy... simple as that... if you're goin out with her, then you must have talked to her... and since she said yes, it means she must like som'n about yer... so just be you... take it easy, and take it as it comes... The only advice you can ever use... and the only one that will ever be true...
That and buy her lot's of drinks


Tm

[Mumon]

(I only play a headless Atrox on TV)

All right I'm taking notes.... relax... buy drinks... have the guts to sing my self... buy drinks... be my self... buy drinks...

But I'm confused. What's this thing about getting her in bed? I mean is that even possible? I don't think I'm going to worry to much about that right now. One step at a time here. First the date. And if that goes well perhaps I'll research this getting someone into bed thing.

All right, I think I've got it all down. If anything goes wrong, it's Otori's fault. Why? I don't know, he just seems like a good person to blame, and I'm not going to blame my self... come one here .

[Boinky]

Don't forget to buy yourself a few drinks too (I guarantee if you do you'll get 'yourself' in bed, or on the couch or maybe the floor outside your front door or possibly in your car the next afternoon)

And that last part was indeed good advice...

I blame Otori for many, many things!

[Firia]

A woman's opinion;

Karaoke of the first date is ballsy. ^_^ Usually you'd want to reserve that for a 2nd or 3rd date when you've properly measured and guedged her personality. Cause if she's the type tohide her face in the light of embaressment, this date won't go so well (sorry to say).

However, if she's down with having a good time, then that's a plus for you. Have confidence when you step up to the mic, even if you're a horriable singer. Women looove confidence. ^_^ SO even if you suck, or totally rock, you've got something going for you. and BE confident. Don't just act it. Women can see through that kinda BS. ^_^ If she see's you're having a good time (should you suck), it'll all be good. If you ROCK the mic and have a good time, she's yours for the night. ^_^

One thing this evening will tell you, is if she's got a sense of humor or not. ^_^

I'd keep going but I've gotta be ready for work in 25 minutes. I shouldn't even be giving out advice right now.

[Nexeus]

A Pimp's opinoin

Okay you have the bases down, be your self, buy drinks be ballsy. Now understand don't go too far off the ledge, women seem to get turned off by guys that are too crazy and out going. Ontop of that, only if it comes up to it, don't start telling her every sad story of yours, your on a date, it's supposed to be fun. If asks, whip out the violin and fiddle and play. Lastly don't get her too drunk! TRUST ME women too drunk only make them very, very, very useless for several hours (drunk women can either be too friendly or too indecisive, you may end up doing getting ready for a lot of things that she may want to do for 3 hours - NOT FUN! - and I'm not talking about sex). Also getting her too drunk would make it seem as if you're trying to lay her while she's at a disadvantage.

Have fun, the minute you're not having fun, do that headless trick, everyone seems to like that.

[Mumon]

All I have to say is BAH

Last night I was the headless atrox that hasn't dated for over two years.

After tonight I'm still going to be the headless atrox that hasn't dated for over two years.

She never showed.

So it seems that I was unable to put anyone's advice to the test.

[Firia]

So call her ass, and be like, BIOTCH!
Find out why the no-show. Sometimes there's a good reason.

[Darth Bootay]

First off, I'm sorry she didn't show. It happens. Usually there's a good reason. Sometimes the reason is just that the girl is an inconsiderate flake. *shrugs* Don't let it get to you.

Now... advice for the future from a woman.

All the boys who said "Be yourself" were dead on right. We don't want to meet your representative. We want to meet YOU. Fronting is a one-way ticket to looking for another girl to date.

Sex? Yeah it's possible, but to be frank, you really won't like a girl who puts out the first night. It's a sure sign that they're NOT serious about you. Don't even bring it up if she doesn't. Women are constantly under the pressure over sex and adding more isn't going to get you very far.

Be cheerful, but don't go overboard. We aren't too attracted to depressed guys, but we aren't looking for a gameshow host either. Sob stories and tales of past rejections and failed relationships are a huge turnoff so avoid them at all costs.

Don't get your date drunk. Period. It's just asking for trouble.

Dress however it is that you are comfortable dressing, but be SURE that whatever you're wearing isn't sloppy, wrinkled or dirty and that your hair is clean and well-brushed. And for the love of God, make sure you've brushed your teeth! Women REALLY DO judge you on how you present yourself. If you're well-groomed, you'll make points, garunteed. Doesn't matter if you're a long-hair in jeans and a tee or a pointy-hair exec in business casual, if it's clean, smells good and put on with care and confidence, we know you cared enough to look good for us and we really appreciate it.

Be confident but not cocky. Women love men who like themselves... or seem to. We don't tend to like men who are full of themselves.

There's the basics. Now for the REALLY good stuff...

The general first-date chit-chat. It's unavoidable. It's essential.
-Ask leading questions and listen to her answers. What she says will give you fodder for conversation if you're listening.
-Find out what she likes and talk about it. If you don't know anything about it, ask. Expressing interest in what women like gives you 'datability points' with us.
-Do NOT talk about the fact you haven't had a date in two years. Just DON'T! Say it even once and you can write her off.
-Don't talk about work much. Most of the time, we really don't care.
-If you ask about her, she will usually reciprocate.
-Don't get caught in the "all about me" trap. No matter how interesting you may be, or how interesting you think you are, there's a definite limit to how much she wants to know the first few dates.

Personal space considerations. Be aware of these or you are doomed to failure!
-Unless she touches you, try not to touch her much. A lot of us have serious issues with being touched by people we don't know.
-Make frequent eye contact, but don't stare. If you don't look at her face, she's going to think you don't like her but if you stare, she's going to start getting 'date rapist' flags going.
-Try not to stand too close until she relaxes and moves closer herself.

Body language! This one really gets overlooked by a lot of people but it's a real killer.
-Don't fake a smile. Just don't. It will backfire.
-Try not to mope. Not even goths are actually attracted to mopey boys.
-Stand or sit straight and keep your hands out of your pockets. It gives the impression of confidence. No matter what your body type, this really improves how she percieves you. And let's face it, when a person slumps, they just don't look like they're feeling good about what they're doing. Standing with your hands in your pockets naturally forces your body to slump.
-Keep your posture OPEN. If you cross your arms or legs too much it sends a nonverbal signal that you aren't interested or don't like someone.

There you go. If you use some of this regularly when you're out being social, you might actually get another date and be able to REALLY whip it out to gain the continued interest of the girl who's caught your eye.

A few side notes...

Don't be too harsh on how you look. Women have very diverse tastes in men's appearances. Not all of us want a GQ model. Some of us think GQ models are the Ugleh.

You might want to work on your self esteem some... You can't be half as bad as you seem to think you are. How you feel about yourself is really crucial to how other people, male AND female are going to think about you. Which drastically effects how they will treat you.

Never forget this one basic fact of life: Girls suck. That's right. I'm a girl and I can say, without any reservations whatsoever that we all suck. Especially me. And no matter how much we girls suck, men suck just as much. Get used to it. Don't let it bother you.

[Oddysee]

[...]-Stand or sit straight and keep your hands out of your pockets. It gives the impression of confidence. No matter what your body type, this really improves how she percieves you. And let's face it, when a person slumps, they just don't look like they're feeling good about what they're doing. Standing with your hands in your pockets naturally forces your body to slump[...]

I'd say this one seriously depends... But it also has a lot to do with age... Hands in pockets depends on situation, my hands almost never leave them when just standing still, they're both hangin, thumbs in, and honestly, I couldn't care less what people thought!
There's a diff to relaxing your body, and looking insecure, it's all a matter fo your own confidence...
I always walk hands in pockets, I even hang with my neck at times, and still, no one is ever in doubt I seem to think I own any room I walk into...
It's a lot to do with what signals you send people... Not caring, because you don't have to is prolly differant that sloping because you feel insecure... So if you're not too sure about yourself, listen to the advice...
But seriously, if it's part of who you are... You can't hide it... I'd never be able to stand straight all day, I hang, but if it's done with confidence... It's not a prob...
This of course has a LOT to do with age!
I don't know how old you are, but over a certain age, it just wont go no more... Even I know that... But I'm still 19 (2o) so I can get away with it...

What that was all about is generally to state, that you shouldn't do ANYTHING that comprimises who you are... If it's you and she doesn't like it... Dump her, cus she'll find out sooner or later...
And as to calling her, DO IT!!! Find out why she didn't show... and if it was cus she was a punk... Tell her to toss off! If not, arange a new date, and she'll even be more modest next time, cus she blew ya off...

Keep the faith!


Tm

[Mumon]

So call her ass, and be like, BIOTCH!
Find out why the no-show. Sometimes there's a good reason.

Um... I hope you had been joking on that stand point. There are some words you will almost never hear me say in RL unless I'm joking. Biotch being one of them.

And I must say thank you SaintBootay, your advice is most likely the most practical of anyone's here. Though, while I may be out of practice I had no intention of bringing up that I haven't dated for two years.

Confidence? It's odd, I'm as confident as can be doing almost anything I want. But when it comes to asking someone out, most of the time my ability to talk desides to take a vacation.

I'm actualy amazed by the fact that I was able to ask her out. Here let me tell you a story...

[storytime]It all started when my friends at work accused me of not getting out enough. They said they had been planing on going to a movie and said I should come along. I couldn't think of a good reason to say no, so I desided to go along. I must admit I had fun, almost everyone from work was there. We had some dinner at a nice little sports bar, and then went and saw a fairly funny movie. The sports bar though had this little ad on there tables, and as is one of my habits I read it for something to do while waiting for the food to get to the table. The add was informing people about this thing called Scarryokie. I chuckled to my self a bit, and put the add down. The next day though, I found my self talking with this girl that I talk to everyday, and before I even realised what I was saying I told her, that I was thinking about going to this scaryokie thing and she should come along. I was a bit surprised when she said that sounded like fun, so sure she would come along.[/storytime]

Also as a side not, I was disapointed she didn't come, but I do acknowledge that there is likely a good reason why she was unable to come. I learned some time ago, it's a waste of time to get angry about things (about 2 years ago I learned that... funny that).

I'm not giving up though. Matter of fact I go to work in less than one hour, and I'm likely to see her again today. (For those of you that are wondering, no I don't work with her, but both of us work in the same mall).

[Oddysee]

Well... that settles it nicely then dunn'it!


Tm

[Firia]

So call her ass, and be like, BIOTCH!
Find out why the no-show. Sometimes there's a good reason.

Um... I hope you had been joking on that stand point. There are some words you will almost never hear me say in RL unless I'm joking. Biotch being one of them.

Yes. I was joking.

[Oddysee]

[...]Yes. I was joking.

Of course she was joking!!!... We all know, that phoning someone up and saying "Yo! Bitch! WTF is up with yo' gimp ass self!?!" will get you nowhere...
The word "Bitch" never solved a problem... If you were to call her, you'd have to be dignified... And we ALL know the propper word is "Wench!" :lol:



Tm

[Oddysee]

Right... seing as this topic is on the dating subject, I'd like to add one more thing...

All the advice above is of course worth bollocks! If she's sendin out signals she isn't aware of... Or chooses to overlook
Been talkin with a friend of mine, and we've been gettin on really well... So we're sittin talkin in a bar, everythin leadin on to the next as they do.
Thing is, it's all been leadin one way, and one way only... And you'd have to be pretty blind or naive, if you didn't see it commin...

Well... She suddenly turns around, and tells me she's aware she's been leadin me on, but if we could keep it here, and not go further... That in itself is not a prob! No, what really get's to me, is the fact that she knows she's been leadin me on, and has been doin it quite intentionally, untill the very last moment... Seriously, what's up with women?

We started as friends, with no need to push further... Yet it builds up, and at every step of the way, she could have stopped... Without confrontation even... But no, it had to keep goin... And where did that get us?!
I dunno, I guess I just hate bein played around like that... But who doesn't...

This was not really ment for me to whine or anything... Simply to state; All the advice in the world cannot prepare you for the one and only universal truth...

[...]Girls suck. That's right.[...]

Tm

[dfclock]

Never forget this one basic fact of life: Girls suck. That's right. I'm a girl and I can say, without any reservations whatsoever that we all suck. Especially me. And no matter how much we girls suck, men suck just as much. Get used to it. Don't let it bother you.

so who blows!?!?!?