Parental Controls

[Vallikat]

I need advice.

Can anyone recommend good and cheap (read:free or as close to it as possible) parental control software? I want to be able to limit what he can get to as well as the amount of time he can spend on the computer (limit has to be in amount of time as opposed to a given range; 2 hours as opposed to from 4:00 to 6:00). I also want to be able to get a log of his activity. My son is 16. He's going to view porn. That's ok. I just don't want him to spend all day on it and I want to put some limit on the level of porn. I also want to stop him from downloading junk onto the computer. There's lots of internet filtering software out there. However, I was hoping someone could give me an actual recommendation to save me the trouble of downloading and testing them all.

Oh and by the way, the computer he will be using has IE7 and Firefox. I tried using the content control in IE and found it decidedly lacking. I had no problem accessing all levels of porn even after putting the controls in place. The Firefox control seems to work better. However, it doesn't do everything I need it to.

So any recommendations?

Thanks guys!

[Tarryk]

I'm really not familiar with any of the types of software, but the one name that seems to have won the marketing impression wars in my brain is "Net Nanny", that's the one that I always saw used back in the day to filter porn on home PC's, and I'm guessing it's probably still in wide use now since there's certainly still a market for that sort of thing.

[lutzie]

I'm with TK, Valli don't really know but "Net Nanny" sticks out in my mind too.

[Reet]

Well, it beats the form of parental control my mother used to do when I was a kid: hiding the modem. Of course, that had little to do with porn, it was more a matter of sky-high internet bills since we paid per minute back then...

[Innari]

http://www.netnanny.com/products/netnanny_home_suite

I don't know if it has a timer though, Valli. I didn't look hard enough.

[Cryonic]

Valli,

I think there is also another utility called Cybersitter, you may also want to ask your provider if they can recommend something. They may even have their own software.

Cry,

[Sneakpastu]

"Net Nanny" is always the one that I have heard about. If you check with your local true geek shop (i.e. the whole shop is computers) they may be able to tell you the what is currently on the market.

[Vallikat]

I checked out Net Nanny and it does seem to serve my purpose. Thanks all!

[Gridfan]

My son is 16. He's going to view porn. That's ok. I just don't want him to spend all day on it and I want to put some limit on the level of porn. I also want to stop him from downloading junk onto the computer.

If he's 16 he's got a brain (I hope).
Just tell him that you want him to limit online time to 2hrs a day. (I assume doing schoolwork on the PC outside the 2 hrs would be ok?)

Also tell him of the dangers of just clicking on email attachments or downloading stuff without checking whether it has some nasty hidden surprises in them. (th old golden rule of don't trust strangers or accept gfts from strangers apply here too) Teach him to use wikipedia and Google on how to find software reviews commentaries etc so he can more easily identify bad software. Also teach him system maintenance. Also how to clean cookies, and not to give out his email or type his email on public forums etc.
In other words educate him.

As for cleaning the system for junk. CCleaner http://www.ccleaner.com/
I use that a lot, it's free and good. cleans up after most normal software that make a mess. (IE and FF too ad temporary files that Windows make and cookies etc)

I assume you got a virus checker? if not I recommend Avast! http://www.avast.com/
The Personal edition is free. (need to re-register each 14months but that's it, free and among the better ones. not too resource hungry either unlike Norton)

Sit down with him, do this stuff with him. Soon he'll take care to keep the system "good" on his own. Maybe he'll tech his friends to be smart too when using their PC's.

And as to the 2hr thing. Tell him the truth, to reduce eyestrain/vision impact. Tell him to get out of the chair and stretch and walk around a little each half hour or so. Also tell him to avoid putting too much body weight on his mouse hand or he might end up with carpal tunnel syndrome which usually can only be fixed by surgery. Tell him to also rest/flex his wrist now and again while working at the computer.
And tell him that when he hits 17 he can be on longer. (4 hours tops?) and when he's 18 even longer. (6 hours tops) as long as he make sure to take breaks.

Also, you mention it's ok if he "look at girls/porn/erotica" which is cool, tees need to do that. But what sites do you NOT want him to go too?
Simply tell him what sites not to go too, and tell him it's ok if he looks at Playboy and you know "stuff" like that.

Also warn him that lots of porn sites have various scams and tend to try and get nasty software to invade peoples computers to try and steal passwords, sensitive info and creditcard and bank information.

Also tell him that most parents are morons and don't know any of these things, and result is that all kinds of nasty shit happens on their computers.
Like files being deleted by themselves, viruses trashing and crashing the system, making games run slow or not at all. Or even worse steal stuff from your computer or get misused without you knowing it and used by evil hacker for financial gain or to attack websites and companies. And you'd hate that the two of you get blamed for being involved in something like that by the cops.



Anyway, that is what I'd do/tell him if he was my kid.
Personally I'd probably allow more hours at the computer.
But if those 2hrs are just plain "goofing off and playing games" and school work and "serious" stuff is not counted into those two hours then I'd say that it is a fair number you decided on.

[Dithyramb]

Additionally, any security program like net nanny etc can be worked around fairly simply. If he has a brain, and is so inclined, he can and probably will find a way around it.

Your friendly Devil's Advocate,

Dithy ;D

[Jenibell]

I found a book at Barnds and nobles called e-parenting it may help you out a bit as well
so I found it on Amazon it may not be what your looking for but its a start

http://www.amazon.com/E-Parenting-Keepi ... 932&sr=1-1

[Reet]

Personally, if I was 16 and my parents wanted to keep a log of my online activities, I'd be pretty pissed off. Setting a time limit is fine, though as others already said it shouldn't count homework time - but chances are I wouldn't want mom to know what porn sites I go to, or (worse yet) to have logs of my chats with my girlfriend or whatever - kids are smart, I'd figure out a way to delete such a log before it's ever viewed. I'd be all indignant like, "It's none of your business, mom!". Even though, what with being a minor etc, it is your business; teenagers don't care.

You might have to deal with a bit of teenage rebellion there, unless of course your kid *isn't* smart... but let's assume that he is.

I suppose you could always offer a guiding hand, show him some good, safe porn sites... you know, ones without viruses or horse sex... though I'd be pretty creeped out if my mom did that.

[Jenibell]

Reet thats beyond the point weather or not the kid wants to be tracked its not his House nor is he old enough to decide if he wants to or not, yes he maybe smart enough to get around this stuff but its like cops on the road there around to keep the honest people honest... but there will always be some who go agents the "law" just because and yes you cant stop that but maybe just denture a bit.

[Fishi3]

Well truth is I'm a bit of an anarchist so the whole word control bugs me, but given that kids need structure. Or Spouces for some couples...

Parental control versio 1.0

Parent sits down with child and does the activity with the child thus supervising said child and keeping them from getting into the things the parent really wants said child, (or spouce), to avoid. Child enjoys time with parent and is happy.

Parental control version 1.1

Parent unable to sit and supervise screams, "I said get off that damn computer now!", Child ignores parental input untill parent comes and shuts off computer. Child moans, sulks and wanders off to see friends to share my parents are the worst stories.

Parental control version 1.2

Software is installed to limit childs activity. Child quickly circumvents the software and sets it up to lock out the parent. Parent is oblivious to fact that the child seeks out every form of media that the parent tried to lock out. Child becomes a social devient, (Not always a bad thing really.), Parent ends up wondering what the heck went wrong.

Using TV or a computer as a babysitter is a bad idea. Shared activity is the way to go. I honestly dislike the idea of parental controls as it implies a hands off parenting approach that I personally don't consider healthy.

But then all of my opinions are rather Fishi3.

[Vallikat]

Fishi, with all due respect,

Actually nevermind, there's no respectful way for me to respond. So I think maybe I won't.

[Vallikat]

Anywho...

Net Nanny would do what I wanted it to, but it turned out to be a gigantic resource hog. The PC is rather old and rickety as it is so that was the last thing it needed. I uninstalled it and re-installed the McAfee software that works in conjunction with Comcast. Its imperfect, but I think it is a fine solution to our problem.

[Fishi3]

Sorry Valli.

Take anything I say with a grain of salt since invariably it's been through my sence of humor filter and come out on the other side twisted. But in short I really don't believe that software controls work. Kids are much better at the technical stuff then their parents. Usually because they are taking classes now not trying to remember half forgoten lore of bygone years.

I always prefer the eyeball mark I as the best way to care for a kid. IE watch over them personally. Not always practical in todays 2 income society but there you go.

[Vallikat]

Fishi maybe you missed the part where he's 16 and I don't care if he views porn. There is a reason for that and that is something that as his mother I really don't think I need to watch him doing. I'm just trying to just limit his activies to a reasonable length of time and to keep my old computer from catching any maner of disease and illness from certain unclean sites that he might be tempted to visit.

So are we more clear now?

[Tastyvixen]

ewww.... yeah... I think you made yourself more then clear there. I don't think I would be wanting to "experience" that with my kids either Valli.... lol

[Fishi3]

I suppose I did miss that part. But in general I stand by my opinion even if my opinion is more suited for younger children than a 16 year old.

I'm old enough I suppose to be cynical about teenagers. Old enough to want more freedom. To young to understand that having freedom is a responsability. Prone to errors that cause massive doses of drama.