[Humor] Comedy Corner

[Shigy]

AVIATION WISDOM

-When one engine fails on a twin engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.
-Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.
-Never trade luck for skill.
-The three most common expressions in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?" "Where are we?" and "Oohhh shit!"
-Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
-Progress in airline flying: Now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.
-Airspeed, altitude or brains. At least two are needed to successfully complete a flight.
-A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is an outright lie.
-I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
-Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!
-If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter - and therefore, unsafe.
-Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.
-Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything about it.
-When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
-Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
-Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.
-The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.
-A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum.
-If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.
-If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it - ride the bastard down.
-Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall Fear No Evil For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing (sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location Kadena, Japan).
-You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
-Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
-There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime (sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
-The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time.
-What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If the ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
-Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
-If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
-Basic Flying Rules: 1. Try to stay in the middle of the air. 2. Do not go near the edges of it. 3. The edges of the air can be recognised by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
-You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.

[Caliana]

If I'm honest not all I had hoped for out of a Caliana sex tape

Shigy's apparently not a 69 man

[Caliana]

For Ash (mostly)

[Lykeios]

I ain't saying a thing without a lawyer...

[Shigy]

Holiday stuff meets 2013 hits

[Caliana]

Tis the season...

[Lykeios]

For those wondering what to get Ashval for Xmas - http://cheezburger.com/7924377344

[Caliana]

I probably shouldn't find this funny, buuut....

[Caliana]

[Ashval]

Can I try combos on Kira?

[Caliana]

My friends are silly. One of them posted this:

Ice shove

another replied with

[Caliana]

Saw this today, and it amused me greatly.




* I swear I'm still around, I've just been real busy with work, holiday stuff, and I caught the writing bug, and have been scribbling away ^.^ *

[Lia]

awww yeahhh

[Caliana]

Not so much as funny, as much as awesome. Figured I'd share this.

[Caliana]

Dog shaming

[Caliana]

Witty responses to sexist comments

[Cherri]

I feel the need to *thumbs up* your last link.

[Caliana]

Gamer Girlfriend (20 photos)

[Caliana]

[Shigy]

lol at the caption.

Both animals look worries though.