GridStream Productions

Okay, so I'm in Florida and my brother (henceforth: Rick) brings my mother (henceforth: Mom) a little something for Christmas that he figures she'll like. It's one of these singing Santas from Walmart.

Now, I am the direct opposite of my mom. She loves things like this that make uninterruptable and seemingly possessed sounds of happiness and cheer. I like making noise, but only when I'm the one in control.

I guess that makes me a control freak.

Anyway, if you've seen these abominations, there is an actual fun purpose for them. What you need:

• A friend or relative who has one of these santas or, God forbid, a santa of your own.
• The cord that connects the singing santa to a headphone jack on a stereo or computer.
• A laptop or cd with the following songs on it.
  • Rammstein - Ich Will
  • Henry Rollins & NIN - I Know You
  • The Laziest Men on Mars - Invasion of the Gabber Robots
• Young and impressionable children

Here's how things transpired for me.

Rick noticed that I was on my laptop (actually, it was on me, if you want to be a legalist) and asked if I had any songs on there. Of course I did, so we hooked it up and I looked through my folder of musical evuhl and picked a song that I thought would sound good from santa: Invasion of the Gabber Robots.

Rick and his dame and her young, impressionable son stared in awe as Santa's lips moved with the words: "Hello, gentlemen. All your base are belong to us."

After this went on for a bit, I switched songs. Santa began to say, "ICH WILL! ICH WILL! ICH WILL!"

The young, impressionable child was hiding behind my brother at this point.

Finally, I unveiled one for the whole family. Santa began to say, "I know you. You were too short. You had bad skin."

Now, in the other songs, there had been laughter. As my family listened to Rollins, they all stared at it and were somewhat disturbed by it.

Evuhl accomplished.

I know there are other songs that can work well with this, but do bear in mind that Santa can't tell the difference between music and lyrics, so his mouth will begin moving with whatever sound is coming over the cord at the time. So if you take a song where the lyrics begin right off, it works well. Songs like Metallica - Sad But True, just look silly as his mouth moves to music.

Enjoy.

LOL.... that was freaken hilarious... I'd love to have a santa just so i could do that to people

Any other ideas for what songs you could play on a singing santa clause? Heck you could play almost anything and it'd probly look hilarious...

Daewen...you rock...

Genius. Pure, evil genius.

The effect isn't as good with songs that have long periods of music without lyrics, especially before the lyrics begin. I think some Danzig songs might be interesting because of the things he does with his voice at times. Anything close to acapella would work great. Something like "Voodoo" by Godsmack, for instance.

But the three I recommended worked great.

Might be too close to his regular Seasonal fare, but what about the barking dogs doing Jingle Bells?

Man that was a good idea to turn Christmas song Santa to sing well what ever you like.... Must ROCK and sound Great....

I got yet another idea while listening to State of Delirium. This is for those of you who were listening early and were curious what Veldron was talking about.

If someone has one of these Santas and feels like being evil, tell me if there is a way to overwrite the songs that Santa is programmed to sing and to sing different songs instead. So that way whenever anyone trips the sensor, he starts to sing "Ich Will" instead of "Old St. Nick."

But even better, get a clip of Veldron or Tarryk, Decavolt, or Zephem saying, "DOOM!" This way I can set it up (since it's by the front door) so that people coming in will hear, "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" and then nothing else.

Must...make...someone...wet themselves....

Terese Ramirez

(On a side note, I wish I could make my in-game facial expression look like this It would be so appropriate. )

game face? hmmm, they need an aphex twin patch.
THAT would fuckup the brains of impressionable kiddies.

Omg Apex Twin.... "Coome too daaady, cooome to daaady COME TO DAAADY. WRAAAAAAIIIAAAAAHH!" that would wet people for sure lmao.