Rants are popping up here lately. yeah. So here's another.
Tonight was supposed to be a gals night out. I was going to go out with my friend, Whom we'll just call Shannon for sake of having a name to give her, other than her real one.
Things keep pretty together at first, but pardon the fuming and occational bursts of anger. Unlike St.Boo, I lose control of my wit when I get angry, and coheriance follows right behind. Plus... um, I'll swear alot. (this paragraph added after the rant was writen)
Ok, so after work today, my friend Shannon meets up with me and asks me if I wanted to go out with her tonight. Do I ever! I'm going stir crazy from working so much, and jump at the opertunity to go out! (Plus it was $1 Long Island Ice Teas. I was bringing 2 bucks with me.
)
We're walking through campus (I work at a collage), and Shannon realises she needs to work on this finantial aid request form, otherwise she'll lose out on it (She didn't meet the min reqs for fall quater, and needed to appeal for consideration). Now, shannon's not the greatest with letter writing. But I am. I am the greatest. So I offer to help her, knowing this'll help her alot.
So I help her. I hammer my brain to think of things that painted Shannon in a possitive light, avoiding phrase angles that could be misinturpruted or misunderstood for negitives. It was a beautiful paper. I wanted to give myself a metal. Shannon said she owed me big cause she couldn't have done better. (He'll it's partly thanks to me she's in the collage in the first place. I helped her write most of the acceptance letters that the board use to weed out people they don't feel can do it that quater.)
Later.
We're going out to this seminar first. It was on Coral Reefs, and Shannon was going to go from there to a friends place to leave her car while we went out. To make things easier, I was just going to go with her to the seminar. It was an educational oppertunity, so I was ok with it.
She got a call. Her car (we were in a "loaner") was in the shop, but now it was done. And the mechanic wanted his loaner back Now (it was just before 7pm). Apperently there was miscommunications, and Shannon was the last and latest to know about this. So, she askes me a huge favor.
"Lyta (that's me), could you take notes for me?"
I havn't taken school notes in years. I told her I couldn't promise anything, but I'd glady do my best for her. I mean, I'm a friend, right? Yeah, you'd think so.
So the seminar was boring as hell, and seemed more like a gloabal warming and reef awareness meeting than anything educational. I was able to gleen some pretty nice notes out of it too. 5 pages in fact, in an hour long speach. I was pretty proud of myself.
Later.
Shannon's got her car. She wasn't able to make it back in time for the seminar, but came back with her car looking for me. We make way to go out.
Her phone rings (vibes), and she talks with the girl we're supposed to meet up with. Some conversation ensues, and they argue. She hangs up saying "Shit, I don't wanna hang out with her. You wanna just go hang out you and me?" Yeah, I was down. In fact, we decided to go grab Sushi first! I love sushi! ^_^
On our way there... This is where I start to get angry. On our way there, her phone [vibes], and she talks abit. My side of the concersation doesn't sound to possitive for us going out. I hear towards the end, "I'll call you when I'm done eatting." (I don't care what the case may be, unless it's an emergency, talking on the phone with company is bad manners.)
She then asks me "Hey, is it cool if we don't go out?" Which is her way of saying, "I'm canceling." Of course, I'm always polite about this sort of thing, like the sap I am.
"Uh, sure, I guess."
"You sure?"
"yeah, it's fine."
I said, "it's fine," but it wasn't really fine. Inside, I started to get irritated. Not enough to blow my top, but it was enough to generate alot of steam. She just cancled with me, sitting next to me, in the span of 1 minute! In ONE fuckin minute, she found something better to do with her time than hang out with me, whom she had already made plans with. Not only made plans, but was in the process of enacting those plans! The Fuck I say!
We pulled up to the Sushi joint. 16 rolls for 6 bucks. That's a good deal. We order, sit down. We arn't really talking. I guess she picked up on my vibe despite my efforts to keep it under wraps, "Are you sure it's ok if we don't go out?" and "Did you really want to go out?"
...
I only set aside my whole evening so I could go out. I could have made NEW plans with OTHER friends if all you were going to do was take me out and cancle right next to me. SHIT. That's what I was thinking, and her question made me angrier. But I maintained composure.
I instead told her, "It'd be nice. I mean, it sucks to be cancled on like that." Shit, I'm such a fuckin spineless sap.
So she said reluctantly, "Ok, we can go out." And starts to go into a few points on why she didn't want to go out, all of a sudden.
Whatever. I'm fuckin fuming on the inside. At this point I know that if we go out, neither of us are going to have a good time. And if what I hear about drunks is true, I'm not going to care so much about holding back my angry thoughts, and just go off the wall on her. To further my point about her reluctance, she started to go into why she doesn't want to go out. Finally I tell her it's her choice. If we go out, or not, it's all up to her. We didn't go out.
That was the catalyst to my fire. Here comes the fuel.
This happens all the time. To me, by female friends. My guy friends never do this shit. But I'll have been out with another friend for example, and she'll tell me she just wants to call it a night. Later I learn, through some means or a slip of the tongue, that she just made other plans.
Shannon's done this to me before. In an instance back several months, we were going to hit a gay club that night. I was really excited! She told me she'd call me later with the details of seating and such. I take a long while to get ready, so I just went and did.
She never called me. She never called back on those messages I left, "Hey, um, it's getting really late. Are we going out or what?" She didn't call back until the next day. "Oh I'm so sorry Lyta! I totally forgot all about you."
What the CRAP?!
She then goes into why she had a great time that night.
These are just a few examples. They all translate to drops in the bucket. The problem being that tonight was one drop to much! This shit happens to me all the fucking time, and I'm fucking getting sick of it! Female friends make plans with me, then later throw me off to the side for other friends. What the fuck!? I'm like some kinda lame social trading card they like to pass around, but no one wants!
"Treat others as you would have others treat unto you."
Sounds wise, but unfortunately seems to contridict human nature half the time.
[deleted anger riddled "wit".]
I guess I'm what these friends settle for when they have better plans. But the moment anything better comes up, they forget about me. Forget Lyta.
Forget Lyta. yeah,
Forget me.
v1.19 (working with 15.7 now!)
I'll remember that. 