Idiots of '03!

[Tacz]

Number One Idiot of 2003

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot of 2003

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

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Number Three Idiot of 2003

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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Number Five Idiot of 2003

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign!

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Idiot Number Six of 2003

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.

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Idiot Number Seven of 2003

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh,that smarts

Give him his sign.

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Idiot Number Eight of 2003

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.

The man, frustrated, walked away.

Sign please.

[Maenos]

hehe, wow, those are some really stupid people, heh.

I really liked the two robbers in the Record Store and the Guy with the Cinder Block & Window.

[Firia]

I remember seeing something on TV about the cider block and the liqour store. ^_^ It was on a show called "Americas dumbest criminals or something.

[Mummu]

hehe

[Tacz]

And an odd thing... Most of them seem to have happened in Michigan

[Xtrophic]

Hehe, the drivers license reminds me of my trip to Tarryk last summer.
We were in the liqour store buying some stuff, and HD100 Anyway, since Tarryk and Lynx (and I believe Katy was there too) are all locals and known they were not carded. I however beeing new and all was carded hehe. So there I was, pulling out my Swedish drivers licence and handed it over and the cleric looks so puzzled and couldn't figure out if I was 21 or not.

I would have explained to him that my birth day (which also is the social security number - your birth day + 4 digits) was written on the licence, but he was cool and said "Well, since you are with these guys I guess you are 21 too" And before we left he said "Atleast now I've seen what a Swedish driver licence looks like"

[Boinky]

Now you know your true calling X - to hold up liquor stores here in the United States!

And does it really surprise us that so many of these idiots live in Michigan? I mean Tarryk lives there doesn't he

[Riviques]

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.

w00t, im famous now, right??

[Nexeus]

A) What happened to number 4?
B) How about this to add to the list. A robber in California (I foget where), walked into a bank with his ski mask on, etc. Now this robber was using the "fire the gun into the air so that everyone can get on the floor" method of hiest, but upon following this routine the gun did not fire. So the robber then looked down at the barrel of the gun to see what was wrong and pulled the trigger at the same time. The gun went off... obviously it worked.

Give him a sign... or at least put it on his gravestone.

[Xtrophic]

Now you know your true calling X - to hold up liquor stores here in the United States!

And does it really surprise us that so many of these idiots live in Michigan? I mean Tarryk lives there doesn't he

Yeah, but you see T is cool

At any location you look there are idiots. I bet you have a higher concetration of idiots the higher the density of population goes. It's simple math

[Lauri]

LOL Hilarious.

This all reminds me of the story of one of my high school teacher's church Deacons trying to hold up a bank, in his car, via the drive-thru window.
Yes, he got arrested.

[Synnastacia]

i can agree with the fact that there are a great deal of idiots in michigan. that's part of the reason i want the hell out of here. ypsilanti is full of them for some reason, and although it would be easy, i will not make an EMU (eastern michigan university, home of the great phallus tower of mi.) joke on top of it all.

[Oddysee]

Just reminded me of my favourite site!

Clickey!





Tm

[Firia]

The darwin story about the spitter that fell 11 stories was sad.

the story about the man catapulted 1 mile by a tree however.... sad but morbidly funny!

[Oddysee]

The spitter was sad aye... But the catapult... I was laughin my arse off!
Try bwosin the site... Some stupid morons in this world!




Tm

[Mummu]

I bet you have a higher concetration of idiots the higher the density of population goes. It's simple math

yeah, that comes from the law of nature, the "constant intelligence assumption"
it says: "the sum of intelligence on a planet is constant; the population is growing."

[Boinky]

I bet you have a higher concetration of idiots the higher the density of population goes. It's simple math

yeah, that comes from the law of nature, the "constant intelligence assumption"
it says: "the sum of intelligence on a planet is constant; the population is growing."

c'mon, that's not entirely true. For all we know in the last few minutes 25 geniuses were born who could accomplish more than Albert Einstein (lets see he worked on processing German patents and then met Marilyn Monroe - not bad )

[Mummu]

I bet you have a higher concetration of idiots the higher the density of population goes. It's simple math

yeah, that comes from the law of nature, the "constant intelligence assumption"
it says: "the sum of intelligence on a planet is constant; the population is growing."

c'mon, that's not entirely true. For all we know in the last few minutes 25 geniuses were born who could accomplish more than Albert Einstein (lets see he worked on processing German patents and then met Marilyn Monroe - not bad )

yeah, but you have take the other 75 new borns into the calculation...

[Fightprncs]

And then you have to add me into the equation and I just make everyone dumber.

[Mummu]

And then you have to add me into the equation and I just make everyone dumber.

well.... i would have expected that you say you make everyone else more intelligent, but than you would have said dumber...