GridStream Productions

A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some[censored]nic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with[censored]nic?". The lady say's "To kill my husband." "I can't sell you any for that reason" says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position, the man is her husband and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist. He looks at the photo and says" Oh I didn't know you had a prescription!".

Funny

WARNING!: the following joke is british, and only works when read out loud...
and read like it's spellt... not all propper like...

A man walks into a bar with a Giraf, they order a few pints,
and the giraf get's pissed and passes out on the floor.
The guy get's up to leave and the barman looks at him...
"OI! you can't just leave thet lyin there..."
"Lion?... s'not a lion... it's a Giraf!"

Tm

*rim shot*

WARNING!: [again] This is yet another british joke... heck, I'm british, I do british jokes... that simple!

K, got another one...
A man is sitting in a bar, a small dog beside him. He's bragging about how amazing this dog is, in that it is an outstanding blacksmith!
"I don't believe it!" says another guys
"oh! but it's true!" the guy assures...
"I'll bet yer two pints! a dog that's a blacksmith? no such thing!"
"alright! a bet's a bet!"
The guy turns around and kicks his dog...
and it instantly makes a bolt for the door!

Tm

Funny.

I...dont...get it...

*scratches her head* I have to agree with Tacz.. I dun get it either

Wow guys.

Blacksmith.

Makes a bolt.

For the door.

What's not to get.

Brits play with words... you gotta figure it out yourself...
I know you lot hand the punch line out, but that's not how we do it...

Tm

One fine summerday Tarryk, Coltess and Oddysee is walking in the woods.
Coltess ask Tarryk and Oddysee, if they can smell something awful as well?
They follow the smell and come to a caveentrance, the smell is really obnoxious and they decide that the one of them that stays in there the longest get a pint of leetpis back at Reets.
Tarryk goes into the cave, he finds a goat lying there, he stays for 2 minutes and runs out gasping for air.
Coltess goes in and comes out after 2½ minutes, also gasping for air.
Oddysee knows he has to be in there for a long time, so he takes a big breath of air and goes in.
After ½ a minute the goat comes out of the cave gasping for air.

Either Tarryk takes the rifle and the foxhole, or Coltess takes the foxhole as well as the rifle...or Oddysee takes the goat.

Hahahahahahahahaha...

That is funny

It's not only old and used... It's cheap and bum... but ok, I didn't really expect more from you!

Tm

So, Tacz, Tharkael, and Tarryk all die and go to heaven. They get in, but saint peter says there are consequences they must answer to. They walk to a place with three doors, leading into three seperate rooms. Saint Peter says, "Tharkael, you were a really slobby and lazy person in life." He opens the first door. "Your punishment is to marry this women." And theres a fat ugly lady standing inside. Tharkael sighs, and walks in, the door shuting behind him. They walk to the second door. "Tarryk, you were a really wild and crazy person in life." He opens the door. "Your punishment is to marry this women." And theres a whore standing inside. Tarryk walks in, and the door shuts behind him. Saint Peter and Tacz walk to the third door. He opens it, and theres (insert porn stars name here) standing inside. Tacz says, "Wow, I mustve been a really good person." Saint Peter looks at Tacz, then (porn star) and says, "(Porn star) youve been a really bad person in life..."

So a Detroit man walks into a sports bar with his dog, and they've got a tigers game running. The bartender says, "Hey! You cant have that dog in here!" Suddenly, in the baseball game, a Tiger hits a triple. Immediatley, the dog jumps up onto the bar, and, on two legs, starts walking up and down the bar giving high-5s to all the patrons. The bartender says, "Wow, what does he do when they hit a grand slam?".
The owner replies, "I dunno. Only had him for five years."

[The by now typical] WARNING!:
The following joke is british and as such may not be understood by certain members of this forum... sorry, but I refuse to explain the punchline as it ruins the joke... bad as it may be! I'm sure you'll get it if you think about it!



What do you call a fly with no wings?...






A walk!!!

Tm

I just saw that in a W.O.W comic....O_o

Really?... heard it back when I was 15, used to be my favourite joke... never heard it anywhere else...

Tm

damn you Brits and your undecodable humor!