Depression

[Hais]

Any body know a good way to get out of it? I'm stuck in a 'dont give a flying f$%k' mood. I get my son tomorrow morning for the christmas holidays and it hurts that i dont care, and its making the whole situation worse. i have a drs appointment on monday to try and deal with it, but i need something in the mean time... been put on valium but trying to avoid taking them as i cant walk straight for 3 hours

[Volaterrae]

Firstly, don't spend a lot of time being guilty about how you feel, or how you think you should feel. Exercise is supposed to help depression, but as they say, your mileage may vary (and it's the kind of suggestion that tends to piss people off, especially if fatigue is a symptom). Also, lack of sunlight can be an issue this time of year, if you're in the northern hemisphere. (Seasonal Affective Disorder)

Medication-wise, I think Valium is more for anxiety than depression. Many if not most antidepressants take a month or more to start working, but side effects usually crop up right away. Personally I wouldn't suggest starting a new medication until you have the time to deal with the possible side effects. Though a faster acting antidepressant may be worth the risk (I think Wellbutrin can work right away) or perhaps something that promotes sleep.

[Cheese]

I dont know if this could help but, in a way you came to the right place.

When I feel like trash I load up some random music, or start the stream stay sober and just relax. Compltely relax, dont to anything but some kind of engrossing activity that has no meaning to anyone but you.

I just like things that occupy my mind so I dont have time to think about other trash.
I remember one day when I couldnt take reading cases anymore, I ran through the backyards of Omni-Trade killing the minibosses getting every one of my alts a Wen-Wen. Anything will do.

Good luck.

[Firia]

I'm really the last person that should be giving advice about fighting depression. This time of the year, and all this holy-jolly bubblecrap tends to drive me into the gutter.

Give this a try; Go out to a bar or something that features live music. Sorta like Cheese was saying on random music. Maybe some, lets say, Live Jazz would perk you up. Perhaps some conversation with those around you.

Don't booze up to much, though. Tis a depressant....

[Innari]

Not sure where you live...but find the sun. The sun is the best natural anti-depressant, no joke. If you can't get outside to find the sun, try investing in a UV lamp. They can be a little expensive $150-200 dollars for a good one, and just use it for about 30 minutes a day in the morning. It will make you feel better. This time of year ALWAYS screws me. I hate the holidays with a passion (hence no Xmas music on my shows) and living in Northern Maine, means I actually see the sun for about 20 minutes a day when I'm working.

So definitely try getting a UV lamp. The sun helps.

[Dantwin]

this might just be me, but i find listening to Trance or rythmic Music Helpful, along with a nice session of meditation ((yes dant Meditates.))

[Narcotic]

i put on the silliest music I have and totally zone out either just creating a new character in one of the many games I play or reading a book.

My daughter and I have been playing WoW together, I try but she thinks AO is too complicated.

Depression is difficult and I have been fighting it this winter too

[Cheese]

I might sound arrogant as hell in this, but I really don’t mean to be.

I think that the thread shows proof that everyone gets depressed and that’s a natural trigger. That trigger is that something needs to change, there is a difference between what is occurring in life and what is positive for the person.

Throughout history there has been the have and have not classes. Problem is if one looks at it closely neither party is really happy. The haves often feel trapped by the possessions, status, or living environment, the have not class covets everything they can’t get to but can see or get so close to. Take a look through literature and culture thought history and across all borders. One thing remains the characters are pretty similar, the peasant who becomes king, the princess trapped by status, etc, etc.

Depression comes in as a motivator or a complaciatory agent (sp? to ease in becoming complaicent). Either a person will do something to end the depression or that feeling will hold them fast in the place they are. Neither one is bad, but feeling crappy about not moving is not fun. It is my theory that the motivational side of depression is the origin of music and art. If you sat around all day hammering rocks or chasing deer with a stick the in-between time would be drastically boring, depression would be rampant and something would have to fill the time or one would go quite nutty.

Modern culture has made a business of taking advantage of those feelings. We are mentally torn apart by a well tailored message stream telling us how we should be, act, and what to own. It’s all made to make us feel odd if we don’t have it and happy if we do. Naturally its targets at our deepest psyche and we all often play along without even realizing. We often don’t turn to art or activity but instead to material to fill that ancient void. At work we don’t have enough things to do that could provide 8 hours of satisfaction just “doing our jobs” unless you planed ahead well. So we get depressesed.

That depression carries over and we blame other things that have nothing to do with it, or we rely on the “quick fix” media answers that are around us every day. (Arrogance) People don’t drink coke because they are thirsty they drink it because the imagining of Coke says it will make you happy. With all the sugar and caffeine it doesn’t make you happy but it perks you up and we accept this as happiness. So you got money but you don’t feel good, buy a Cadillac, it’s the status car and you feel good. Not really, they piss you off, its just more money to fix it, insure it, and once you own one all you see are the plethora of other Cadillacs on the road.

So long story short I say depression is natural and the idea that it is bad, or unique to you is bullshit. Be depressed, and don’t feel bad about it. Don’t look for an easy answer, a pill, a car, a soft drink, look for the cause, or at least look for something that you can do. Art, exploration, music, all of the “useless” activities out there were born out of depression. (arrogance) Pills and other things are good for a transition not a cure.

Even rich people get depressed, that’s why art is so valuable, it gives them something to obsess over and escape the depression they feel from being so idle. Poor people get depressed and carve up their cane to look pretty to escape how depressing their status is. The rich guy buys the pretty cane and the cycle is complete. So go out there and find your own cane, whatever that may be.

Non one is alone in depressoin, and no one is a truely bad person just because of how they felt, or what they did yesterday. (Although if you killed 30 people yesterday theres a high possibility you are a bad person.)

I’m just saying this because after a lifetime of depression and failure I decided to go out and search for my own cane. It sucks at times, but that’s the price of freedom. I could get depressed about being 30, no girlfriend, having lost my wealth and valuable possessions, having spent 3 years when I was 25 in my parents basement, loosing my life savings in a failed business, but I wont. Well, I will but I wont let it stop me. Depression is my new motivation, it wont last forever, it will remind me of what I’m fighting for, and finally if I get up and on my feet no matter how poor or shitty life is, depression will go away.

Oh yeah, another trick may be to write a long-winded post on the forum of your choice.
^_~

Good luck to everyone out there.

[Vallikat]

Goo -

First off, this was a well-thought out, helpful, and meaningful post. Second, not to detract from that any, but this line really made me giggle:

(Although if you killed 30 people yesterday theres a high possibility you are a bad person.)

[eadaoin]

I don't really know where to start with my little tidbit (they tend to head off course, so I like to have at least a good start ).

*aims to dive in headfirst and bellyflops*

I'm bi-polar. I'm also pregnant, and the first trimester was basically a succession of lows, blitz attack - RAWR - style.

What helps is usually a compromise between what I want to do (rot in bed for a couple of weeks) and what I know will be beneficial (like getting out and about), but seemed difficult to follow through on. I draw, patch my husband's jacket, play with the neighbor's dogs (i.e. sit on the steps and let them track mud all over me), work on my spit bubble blowing skills (trying to catch up to my dad and sister, who often try to sabotage each others food and drink from a distance with projectile spit bubbles). If I have things that need to be done, I try to focus on/tackle them one at a time (which isn't too hard, since I usually don't want to focus on any of them, let alone all at once). I also take time to just recognize/accept that I'm feeling down and it's not "omg wtf?"; it just is.

And, most importantly, I up my GSP fix. Just being around you folk seem to have a positive effect.

Actually, what's really most important is finding what works the best for you and your situation. What helps some people might not be helpful for you, and the other way around. (I have a friend who meditates, but that would just be me in hibernation mode.)

[Darth Bootay]

Oi... depression, that most horrible of beasts.

Best bet? Get some exercise. Don't set goals on it, just get up, get out and move around. A little bit every day can do wonders for the underlying causes of depression. Dance, walk, jog, work out, whatever. Doesn't matter as long as you get your blood moving a little.

Valium is a depressant. Only thing it's going to do for you is make you tired and gloomy. Stay away from it. Don't drink the booze either. Same effect with the added load of guilt if you overindulge. Advice? Don't get on the medication bus to help you past this hump.

Fill your time. Boredom can bring depression with it if you let it settle with you for too long. Do something new, maybe. Change your routine up a bit. Maybe think about some interesting shit you can do with your son when he visits. Might seem like a pain in the ass now, but it might just surprise you with some fun... which is the natural enemy of depression. Don't be afraid to be lame.

Anyway, jate'kara (good luck) and try to have a happy holiday.

Any body know a good way to get out of it? I'm stuck in a 'dont give a flying f$%k' mood. I get my son tomorrow morning for the christmas holidays and it hurts that i dont care, and its making the whole situation worse. i have a drs appointment on monday to try and deal with it, but i need something in the mean time... been put on valium but trying to avoid taking them as i cant walk straight for 3 hours

[Hais]

I never thought it was unique to me. As soon as I had whatever it was that caused this break or something last week, I knew there was something wrong. In regards to exercise, I do a hell of alot of walking. The doctor I saw didnt think it was depression, and only put me on the valium to 'keep me calm and stable' untill I could see a doctor in the morning as he was only an after hours one. I live in Australia, so Christmas for me is quite warm. The only part of how I feel that I feel guilty about is not caring about seeing my son these holidays. Having him has helped a little.. I don't constantly feel like crying.

I have also since discovered that under a rare chance I have inherited Cushing's Syndrome from my mother, that may be causing it. Almost everything else I feel, and have seen in my behaviour patterns for quite a while, matches up either solely with depression, or with Cushing's, or both.

Thanks for all the help guys! Anarchy is the only place where I have friends (or even strangers!) do more than say 'I hope you get over it soon'.

Anyway, I see the doctor tomorrow, hopefully he can shed some light on this. I've been up (only slightly) and down (alot) since I made the first post. At least I can think somewhat clearly alot of the time. I think that is the only thing that has kept me going without thoughts of idiocy (read: suicidal thoughts).

[Hais]

The other part of the problem is I cant enjoy anything. Not even anarchy, which is my escape from the real world. So that leaves me bored as all hell. I've never drunk too much in regards to alcohol, as I try to minimise the risk of me becoming another one in the family who thinks a carton a day isnt too much.... I'm only taking what the dr has told me, and I do so because although it isnt easing the depression, im not breaking down like i did at the very start. I hate any type of thing that can mess with your head.

[Hais]

Well got a diagnosis this afternoon. Depression with an adjustment disorder. Got a referal to a psychologist (which I knew I needed anyway) for some anti depressants. Thanks again for the support guys.

[Acushla]

I had a close friend who was fond of saying that 90% of Depression was caused/created by a period of time spent thinking about things one does not like but lacks the power to change (since if you had the power to change it you would wouldn't you?).

My solution has always been to turn that around either by 1.) seeking an activity that I DO like. or 2.) Seek something I do have control over, however small.

This is not to say that some people do not have valid medical reasons for depression. In most cases the solution will never come from a doctor's office or pharmacy. At the same time, the solution is and will continue to be unique to the individual.

[Hais]

I dont know what actually triggered it. When it started last week, I literally jsut started crying for 3 hours for no identifiable reason, and when I did stop I blacked out for 20 minutes and have been down ever since. At least I had enough sense still to recognise the problem and seek help straight away.

[Acushla]

Wow! .... Ok, if that is the case you probably did the best thing possible under the circumstances and I hope things improve for you soon.

[Dedojo]

I managed to get over mine for the most part just by changing the way I lived. Quit living on anarchy online 24/7. Started gettng the correct ammount of sleep. Started excercising and eating better. I go out more with RL friends, and try not to stay home alone. I'll go to stores and stuff just to look at things with no intention of buying stuff, just to get out of the house and pass time.

[Cheese]

I think you are going to recover Hais.

You knew to get help, you are willing to listen, and you have people who will give you feedback and care about how you are doing.

Find something that helps you and keep going from there step by step.

About the feelings toward your son, that could have been a developed condition. Having a family member removed from you (not by death) can lead to the mind neutralizing all feelings about them to avoid pain. As you noticed this is really confusing and painful if that person returns.
Just something to think about. I dont know the full circumstances, but maybe if you look at those feelings as a differed pain from separation it can help a little.

[Hais]

I've always looked forward to seeing my son, so not caring about seeing him hurt, and I knew it was tied in with how I was feeling. I don't enjoy anything at the moment, and wander from game to game to book to tv to game when im not at work, and i keep coming back to anarchy for the same reason i cant quit. the community, and everything it brings, like this support. Dr is expecting it to be only short term depression anyway. lets see what the psychologist says when i can get in to see them.