Trids.
Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:26 amOnce upon a time in the deep forest there lived a species of small humanoids simular to Smurfs but not Smurfs at all as they weren't blue and didn't wear silly hats or have an entire village of males with only one female which made dating easier on the female part of the population. This species went by the name of Trids and the Trids were a happy bunch as the deep forest was secluded and they didn't have much to worry about except for the occaisional scent deficiant wild cat mistaking them for mice but even that was rare because Trids having no sense of smell didn't realise they smelled absolutely and definately like a skunk in heat.
Up the hill from the Trid village were magical crunchy granola bushes that every day, be it sumer winter, spring or fall produced ample Crunchy Granola to feed the entire Trid village which was fortunate because Trids can only eat the crunchy Granola from magical crunchy granola bushes.
Every day first thing in the morning the Trids would climb the hill using the stairs they had built for just the purpose of climbing the hill to collect crunchy granola and they would collect the crunchy granola from the magical crunchy granola bushes leaving just enough to feed the birds and the squirrels that the Trids shared the Deep forest with.
One day the Trids awoke and as per their custom dressed and climbed the hill to go collect the crunchy granola from the magical crunchy granola bushes but discovered that atop the hill there was Troll who didn't say a word to them but rudely kicked them down the hills laughing as they bounced down the stairs that the Trids had built to reach the crunchy granola bushes. The trids sent the Mayor of the village to talk to the troll he was kicked down the hill. The trids sent the Matron of the school she was kicked down the hill. Several days passed and the Trids were starving and still every Trid who climbed the hill was kicked down the hill still hungry and without the Crunchy granola from the Crunchy Granola bushes. The Trid insurance salesman refused to pay damage claims based on injuries caused by being kicked down the hill by a Troll as he claimed Trolls were an act of nature. Truely the Trids were sunk into the depths of dispair and risked starvation. Now it happened that a wandering Rabbi was wandering through the deep woods quite lost actually and he happened upon the Trid village. The Trids were used to lost Rabbi's wandering into their village as being lost seemed to be the only way anyone ever found the Trid village. The Trids of course being unaware of how bad they and their village smelled never clued in that once visited they might be avoided. The Rabbi saw that the Trids were starving and disspirited and inquired why. Being a man of god he was brought to tears by the story the Trids told him of how the Troll kicked them down the stirs they had build to reach the Magical crunchy granola bushes and harvest the crunchy granola so they could eat crunchy granola. The Rabbi could not help but be in tears at such a tale as this, not that he would admit that the stench of the village had him in tears long before he'd met a single Trid So The Rabbi climbed the hill mad as a rabid bear at how the Troll had treated the Trids as they tried to harvest crunchy granola from the magical crunchy granola bushes. The Rabbi reached the top of the hill and stood before the Troll who cleaned his finger nails and ignored the Rabbi. The Rabbi was insensed. "Troll!", Demanded the Rabbi, "Why is it you kick the little Trids down the hill when they climb the hill to harvest the sweet sweet crunchy granola from the magical crunchy granola bushes and yet you do not try to kick me? Are you a cowardly bully or do you fear to harm a man of god!", The Rabbi paused to catch his breath as the climb up the hill had winded him though it is perhaps possible that the wind shifted and he again caught scent of the Trid Village. In the pause thus caused the Troll replied,
"Silly Rabbi. Kicks are for Trids."
Up the hill from the Trid village were magical crunchy granola bushes that every day, be it sumer winter, spring or fall produced ample Crunchy Granola to feed the entire Trid village which was fortunate because Trids can only eat the crunchy Granola from magical crunchy granola bushes.
Every day first thing in the morning the Trids would climb the hill using the stairs they had built for just the purpose of climbing the hill to collect crunchy granola and they would collect the crunchy granola from the magical crunchy granola bushes leaving just enough to feed the birds and the squirrels that the Trids shared the Deep forest with.
One day the Trids awoke and as per their custom dressed and climbed the hill to go collect the crunchy granola from the magical crunchy granola bushes but discovered that atop the hill there was Troll who didn't say a word to them but rudely kicked them down the hills laughing as they bounced down the stairs that the Trids had built to reach the crunchy granola bushes. The trids sent the Mayor of the village to talk to the troll he was kicked down the hill. The trids sent the Matron of the school she was kicked down the hill. Several days passed and the Trids were starving and still every Trid who climbed the hill was kicked down the hill still hungry and without the Crunchy granola from the Crunchy Granola bushes. The Trid insurance salesman refused to pay damage claims based on injuries caused by being kicked down the hill by a Troll as he claimed Trolls were an act of nature. Truely the Trids were sunk into the depths of dispair and risked starvation. Now it happened that a wandering Rabbi was wandering through the deep woods quite lost actually and he happened upon the Trid village. The Trids were used to lost Rabbi's wandering into their village as being lost seemed to be the only way anyone ever found the Trid village. The Trids of course being unaware of how bad they and their village smelled never clued in that once visited they might be avoided. The Rabbi saw that the Trids were starving and disspirited and inquired why. Being a man of god he was brought to tears by the story the Trids told him of how the Troll kicked them down the stirs they had build to reach the Magical crunchy granola bushes and harvest the crunchy granola so they could eat crunchy granola. The Rabbi could not help but be in tears at such a tale as this, not that he would admit that the stench of the village had him in tears long before he'd met a single Trid So The Rabbi climbed the hill mad as a rabid bear at how the Troll had treated the Trids as they tried to harvest crunchy granola from the magical crunchy granola bushes. The Rabbi reached the top of the hill and stood before the Troll who cleaned his finger nails and ignored the Rabbi. The Rabbi was insensed. "Troll!", Demanded the Rabbi, "Why is it you kick the little Trids down the hill when they climb the hill to harvest the sweet sweet crunchy granola from the magical crunchy granola bushes and yet you do not try to kick me? Are you a cowardly bully or do you fear to harm a man of god!", The Rabbi paused to catch his breath as the climb up the hill had winded him though it is perhaps possible that the wind shifted and he again caught scent of the Trid Village. In the pause thus caused the Troll replied,
"Silly Rabbi. Kicks are for Trids."
'oh how un-PC'