Dani's Words of Wisdom

[Innari]

I've done this on other forums, and others have been amused by it. So without further ado, I bring you the issues of Dani's Words of Wisdom.

Past Issues

Things that do not belong in your eyes:
--toothpaste
--Apricot Face Scrub (yes, the stuff with the little rocks in it)

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If you are going to call tech support, please make sure your children have stopped screaming first.

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Do not let a cat stomp in your eyeball, no matter how precious or sweet he is.

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Despite popular belief, you will melt in the rain.

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Despite what you might think, diet coca cola is not an appropriate cleanser for your keyboard!

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Landlord: Asshat who generally likes to make your life miserable. Eating them is not advised, the meat is rancid.

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Disk Cleanup is your friend. (Co-worker had 5 Gig of Windows Temp files...and you all know I work in tech support right?)

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Mornings are not meant for human beings. Save humanity. Sleep in.

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If you've been riding in the car all day with the window down, make sure to check your hair for bees before trying to take your sunglasses off the top of your head.

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When you have no graphic arts experience, do not attempt to test yourself. You will fail, and miserably at that.

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Humor is important. Let it be part of your daily life. You will thrive if you embrace humor. But without it, the soul will die.

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Do not stuff your washing machine to the brim. Not only do your clothes not get clean, but that whole load likely won't dry well either.

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If the cat bothers you while you sleep, toss him out the door. If he continues to whine, lock him in the laundry room. If that fails...you know what to do.

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Don't trust your parents to tell you the truth. It will be too late when they finally do.

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Do not trust the general mail system to receive things on a convenient schedule. Things never show up when you expect them to.

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In order to listen to GSP...one must have their headset plugged in.

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So you've found yourself with moose goo in your car. And it's been simmering for ...oh...6 weeks. Lots of it. In the sun...in 90 degree weather. Bet that smells pretty. Lots of hot dates, eh?

Now there's a solution...

Grab ye old tree air freshener. The Royal Pine scented one. Completely unwrap that baby and throw it in the back seat.

Problem solved.

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When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Always good to make sure clothes are dry BEFORE you get out of the shower.

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When your employer says he's putting you on a small project that should only take an hour...DON'T TRUST HIM!

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Water is your friend. Drink it. You will feel better.

Newest Issue

Socks can be fatal if worn in the shower.

[Kryat]

Don't trust your parents to tell you the truth. It will be too late when they finally do.

damn straight my parents always lie to me when they say they'll think about subscribing me to AO but noooooo in the end they just say no u see parents like to build our suspence and hopes up then they crush it like that with that evil word.........my god im evil to think like that......and i like it

[Innari]

3 hours of sleep while tossing and turning is not the equivalent to a good quiet 8 hours. No matter how much you imagine it is.

[Rayeni]

I've done this on other forums, and others have been amused by it. So without further ado, I bring you the issues of Dani's Words of Wisdom.

Past Issues

Things that do not belong in your eyes:
--toothpaste
--Apricot Face Scrub (yes, the stuff with the little rocks in it)

May i be the first to say...OWWWW!!!

[Innari]

Lipton Green Tea with Citrus has sugar in it.

When you spill said tea on your keyboard, inevitably you must clean it.

Q-Tips plus warm water saves the day.

[Rayeni]

ummm dumb scottish question alert!!!

What ARE Q Tips?

[Myz_Lilith]

To us East-of-the-Atlantic folks, I believe they're commonly known as "cotton buds"

[Rayeni]

ahhhh righty, much thanks ^^

[Boinky]

Wtf are cotton-buds


Q-Tips ftw

[Tarryk]

LOL yeah never heard the term cotton buds before. Interesting.

[Lillyarnia]

I had Q-tips viewed as something completely different!

[Boinky]

I had Q-tips viewed as something completely different!

Care to elaborate? Or should you do that at a GSP show for the quotes thread?

[Tarryk]

Lilly, you mentioned before how it's almost amazing that you seem to get picked at with all the "suggestive" references, yet you just walk RIGHT into this stuff.

[Rayeni]

lol yeah q tips are called cotton buds over here ^^

i had visions of q tips having something to do with writing to be honest

[Nexeus]

I had Q-tips viewed as something completely different!

Right now any perception of this person has just been shot to hell, THANK YOU YOU NUTS!!!

[Spleenripp]

What are these "Q-tips" used for?

[Tarryk]

What are these "Q-tips" used for?

Say what?




*pull pin aaaand underhand toss*

[Innari]

What are these "Q-tips" used for?

Say what?

*pull pin aaaand underhand toss*

I love you Tarryk.

As for words of...er...something...today:

Hospital waiting room chairs are retardedly uncomfortable. Yes. Yes they are.

[Rayeni]

I had Q-tips viewed as something completely different!

Right now any perception of this person has just been shot to hell, THANK YOU YOU NUTS!!!

lol Nex you can count on us ^^

[Spleenripp]

What are these "Q-tips" used for?

Say what?

j/k ;P
Rub's TarryK's head.... uhhh i mean Crystal ball..."Crystal ball, Tell me what Q-Tips are used for.."

Dude, digged your last show! u rock!