What we have so far
One day I ran out of toilet paper, so I stole the neighbor's pink fluffy hamster. Then I went to the shops in order to acquire some more egg nog. I forget my mother is waiting in the outhouse for her shiny new fluffy hamster, so I decided that I should get some bizarre flavored condoms out while knowing my army was green. I reached out and touched my enormous vibrating TV remote control, and put it in his drink. And then I rubbed my hands with evil glee. While he drank, he slipped his foot into my left shoe and exploded, sending arms and legs to midwestern Ghana, where they all lived in metal house made by the little purple people with green noses and huge throbbing baseballs and gloves of incredible wisdom and major silliness. However, I have boobs on my back, that's why I like to dance real close. However, I am obsessively compulsive about the giant green beanstalk outside of my bathroom window. You can't even poop in peace! That really exacerbates me when I dance feverishly to big, swaying, hairy, sasquatch looking musicians who played swing with intent to make Detroit explode all over the brand new pink Ferrari of great epeen enlargement. Then, we all ran to the local pub and kicked Bill Cosby's face in the hole of insignificancy, where Ickk secretly lives with his teal inflated sheep doll and hugs his fluffy bunny of rabid evil death whilst eating rather chocolate salty balls and drinking BEER with a titty twisting gimp boy who smells like cheap soap and rose water from my smelly armpit of doom. Though, he's still able to feel this great pain in the eye from sticking his big sword of great pwnage in it. That when I pulled it out I saw the great Jugsmalone watching the bumps and grinding as her hips spontaneously combusted into red-hot love lumps, igniting my soul and stirring my passions for great justice. For these are the times for noodle tossing, and jello wrestling stripped to the halloweenie bikini of uber fluffiness. She dreamed of large doom bunnies with leather jackets and daisy dukes that could make a grown man swoon with bunnie lust and sheep dust. Once in my fall from grace, I got drunk on leet juice, and took off and ran into a heckler ankle... Talk about stoned! We died laughing our collectively oversized egos fell into the Bat Cave, where the pink soft furry winds of dancing Faerie piglets fluttered by dropping tiny little sharp pink feathers that stuck in the great ocean of mindless noobs running in circles chanting and howling extra credz plz? Then I went to a burlesque where my friend sat google-eyed and belt loose awaiting his first one-eyed willie winking, this goonie is now a member of a little treasure hunt for whips and chains, leather and lace, and huge tawdry piece of sticky muffiny goodness and fried leet tails, afterwards, we all danced all night and all day to GSP, then drank rum till morning light. Then we ran down the laneway, until we saw the oddest looking Trox in a lemon lime thong, eating bronto employees and loving it! Much to my chagrin, I found splintered leet bones in my shit. Slowly I turned, step by step, until I faced a big bad Niagara Falls gag. I exclaimed "What is that doing in my story? That should have been The Falls in Broken Shores! Wait! Where was I going with this mysterious device that looks like a battery operated cow milking machine?" while exploring camelot dressed in my halloween panda suit and sombrero hat, I found a tasty bit of rabid opossum jerky lying in the road and for dessert, I discovered a big banana surprise! I look up as she descends the winding staircase, and then she snatched the damn banana phone from my open palm and threw it at the terminator who called Batman, Bob the Builder, not to mention Howard the Duck who was in horribly excruciating pain when he fell off santa's lap onto concrete candy and broke his big orange bill Mr. Squeeky laughs, It makes my vivid imagination run wild with possibilities. It was the sixth time this year that I got caught by the roadside with no gas and my hand in the cookie jar. The cookie monster was with me in full drag with thumb out, hitchin' a ride the closest party. I noticed a flying pig going by and it stopped right in. I was confused so I ignored the tiny dancer in my hand wearing a tutu made of cabbages and PINK candy with ballerina slippers and no top who liked pie. I went south but I stumbled on a rock painted fluffy pink and I thought "Am I dreaming of soft cream between two perfect banana moon pies?" That had been what my dreams brought to life was horrid beyond all the turkeys and the monkeys and the bunnies very twisted imaginings. Meanwhile, back in my bed, I had lots of blow up toys the likes I had played with in my dreams. Strange how I get such excitement from bananas that are green and amazingly smooth and so very firm but bent to satisfy VERY well, It's almost as if it was sent from heaven. Meanwhile, back on Venus, the giant tentacle thong and our heroine, She-Ra, commenced an epic horse ride through marshmallows with a flaming smore of doom. Needless to say, she likes toast. Knitted bikinis colored violet and aquamarine were wedged up inside ceiling tiles. Then from nowhere, giant purple bulbs bounced down the plank with dangly tentacles of steel. Days old calamari smelt like fresh pajamas from the toad stall cupboard that contained smelly dead killer tomatoes which now looked a half moon with needle toothed edges of red partially hidden by boob tassel shields with notum infused tripod implants of doom, and then along came Ashval, who got out his great big, hairy knuckles that we shaved and reminded everyone of small childs bottom, thus, rendering his large sack of bad little kittens immobile. effectively destroying all of Boston in a desperate attempt to save the poor little frog who had a log under a larger, hot naked very attractive atrox, smothered in waves of beautiful peanut butter and strawberry jelly thongs and banana hammocks covered in gooey honey smeared all over its cabbage, which is enormously small despite average sizes, the atrox ran away to never never land, where pan had peanut butter in his pants, which made wendy hungry for pepperoni stuffed bananas, which tasted nothing like bananas, which makes one wonder what it was that made the chicken carbonara turn neon-green. Elsewhere, a large rolling stone started downhill towards a Bigbird statue which went KaBooM! Then the pieces fell into a small opening in a mossy cavern with sticky walls that are pink because of the giant green marshmallow exploding over the sweaty opifex chick who was dancing for the Batman of Doom. Then she licked marshmallow off of her furry pet leet that had just been flea dipped after running through my swamp and eating green bananas that started ringing like wedding bells until it all stopped because of a tentacle monster who was purple with yellow eyes and a green pierced attached earlobe However, I digress from what I and the hamster started to do before we were so rudely interrupted and had to pause our merriment playing hamster toss with live hamsters infected with the plague of doom the sheer euphoria of it caused everyone around me to suddenly burst out in song. Twas a song about scantily clad hamsters dancing in thongs and coconuts on top of shimmering tree but missing a flying machine that could spit tiny snowballs at Nushen, driving with three small green spots on her Mini Cooper.
