Currently playing: [Kermie's Gridstream Playlist] Atari Teenage Riot - Delete Yourself
A thread of sillyness!
Moderator: Station Managers
by Mivat » Sun Mar 20, 2005 2:55 pm
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."
Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
"Harry, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Harry: "Pockets."
Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms Brooks: What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut
Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.
Harry: Bubblegum
Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands
Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Harry: Yep.
Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent
Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose
Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow
Ms Brooks: What word starts with an ’F’ and ends in ’K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?
Harry: Firetruck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."
Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
"Harry, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Harry: "Pockets."
Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms Brooks: What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut
Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.
Harry: Bubblegum
Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands
Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Harry: Yep.
Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent
Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose
Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow
Ms Brooks: What word starts with an ’F’ and ends in ’K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?
Harry: Firetruck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."
-
Mivat - Posts: 880
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2003 1:13 pm
- Location: Behind you. With an axe.
by Tacz » Sun Mar 20, 2005 10:21 pm
A priest and a Marine are sitting next to eachother on a plane. When the drink cart comes by, the Marine asks for a mini-bottle of Vodka. The flight attendant asks the priest if he would like the same, and he replies "I would rather be savagely raped by brazen whores, then allow my lips to touch that evil liquid." The Marine quietly puts the Vodka back on the tray and says, "Me too, I didn't know that we had a choice."
-
Tacz - Unstoppable!
- Posts: 2309
- Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2002 7:21 pm
by Mivat » Fri May 06, 2005 2:40 pm
Yup...I'm an evil thread necromancer....
The Flowers and the Bees, Computer-style.
Son: Dad, how did I really come into this world?
Dad: Weeeell...Sooner or later I thought I'd have to explain it to you anyway, so here's the deal..
Mom and dad met in a chatroom. Dad managed to talk mom into a date through email, then we met in a cyber-cafe. We snuck into one of the booths over by the wall, where your mother started to download from dad's memory-stick. Well, as soon as dad had completed an upload, w realized that none of us had a firewall installed. And since it was too late to disconnect at that time, a small virus came to the world nine months later....
The Flowers and the Bees, Computer-style.
Son: Dad, how did I really come into this world?
Dad: Weeeell...Sooner or later I thought I'd have to explain it to you anyway, so here's the deal..
Mom and dad met in a chatroom. Dad managed to talk mom into a date through email, then we met in a cyber-cafe. We snuck into one of the booths over by the wall, where your mother started to download from dad's memory-stick. Well, as soon as dad had completed an upload, w realized that none of us had a firewall installed. And since it was too late to disconnect at that time, a small virus came to the world nine months later....
-
Mivat - Posts: 880
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2003 1:13 pm
- Location: Behind you. With an axe.
by Switchfront » Sun May 08, 2005 6:32 pm
- Switchfront
- I Post, Therefore I Am
- Posts: 1142
- Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:34 am
by Mivat » Mon Jun 20, 2005 3:16 pm
Noooooo!!! Teh Sillyness is back! BEWARE! Not for children!!!
horse! err...Dog! Err....Dorse?
Look! A Wookie in Armor!
What happens when daddy trains the cat...
Aww....
Happy Chanukkachristmas4thofjulyhalloweenthanksgivingnewyeareastervalentines!
wtf?
Been chasing them wimmin all night...
Cute, but....so wrong...
Fancy a lick?
Aww Crap!
Why Eve ate the apple....
horse! err...Dog! Err....Dorse?
Look! A Wookie in Armor!
What happens when daddy trains the cat...
Aww....
Happy Chanukkachristmas4thofjulyhalloweenthanksgivingnewyeareastervalentines!
wtf?
Been chasing them wimmin all night...
Cute, but....so wrong...
Fancy a lick?
Aww Crap!
Why Eve ate the apple....
-
Mivat - Posts: 880
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2003 1:13 pm
- Location: Behind you. With an axe.
by Mivat » Fri Jul 15, 2005 10:25 am
Oh No! Miv's at it again!!!!
Beware! Magical Trevor is 10 times as slick!
*rocks himself in his Hug-yourself-shirt while singing* Aisle Twooooo...that's the place where we sell the ragouuuuuu......
Beware! Magical Trevor is 10 times as slick!
*rocks himself in his Hug-yourself-shirt while singing* Aisle Twooooo...that's the place where we sell the ragouuuuuu......
-
Mivat - Posts: 880
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2003 1:13 pm
- Location: Behind you. With an axe.
by Switchfront » Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:11 pm
I let the 10 times as slick loop about 10 times thinking it was gonna change then realized.. oh it's just a loop. lol I'm a dork. Funny tho! haha LOTSA BEANS LOTSA BEANS LOTSA BEANS!
- Switchfront
- I Post, Therefore I Am
- Posts: 1142
- Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:34 am
by Mivat » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:32 pm
Where's Atkins when you need him....
[/img]
Can you tell that I'm bored at work?
Oh, and check out this Alarm-system.... BEWARE! MAY NOT BE WORK-FRIENDLY!!!
[/img]
Can you tell that I'm bored at work?
Oh, and check out this Alarm-system.... BEWARE! MAY NOT BE WORK-FRIENDLY!!!
-
Mivat - Posts: 880
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2003 1:13 pm
- Location: Behind you. With an axe.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 30 guests