Things to not do in bed!!

[Talidro]

Don't fart in Bed

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.The only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would
wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air..
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural.She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards... the neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently
pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied
the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the soundof frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife
could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally
happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

[Mental Elf]

wow! thats almost erotic

[Innari]

wow! thats almost erotic

[Tacz]

I never liked turkey much anyway.

[Mental Elf]

I never liked turkey much anyway.

wild turkey is ok

[Chaimera]

that is just wrong

[Firia]

Ok, THAT was a perfectly good example of a sneaky ass joke that lurks up on you and lets out a good ol' "Charlie Murphy!" before giving you a violent punch sqare in the forehead.

Eg; that just wasn't right, man. ^_^

[Tacz]

Ok, THAT was a perfectly good example of a sneaky ass joke that lurks up on you and lets out a good ol' "Charlie Murphy!" before giving you a violent punch sqare in the forehead.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.