Politics in action; Or Lier Lier Pants on Fire?

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Postby Tacz » Mon Jul 28, 2003 10:51 pm

I scream! You scream! Oddysee screams cuz I FOUND HIM! *Emptys another clip at Pddysee*
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Postby Oddysee » Wed Jul 30, 2003 1:12 am

*/me thanks his lucky stars that he's not Pddysee and runs for cover...*

Hehe, missed me... poor... :? ... Pddysee?!?... who the...
Anywho... RUN!

*/me runs off the the other threads where Gerries and bullets are not in such abbundance*
:twisted: Tm
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Postby Tacz » Wed Jul 30, 2003 4:33 am

Oh my god! I hit an innocent!

*goes into a life of crying*
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Postby Ichyro » Wed Jul 30, 2003 5:11 am

*looks dumbfounded*

We, humanity, used to carpet bomb cities...

And your cry over a collateral damage.

Wussy. :P


*Sarcasm alert!*
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Postby Mukizu » Wed Jul 30, 2003 5:16 pm

Ichyro wrote:We, humanity, used to carpet bomb cities...
And your cry over a collateral damage.
Wussy. :P
*Sarcasm alert!*

Carpet bomb cities?? why not bomb a city with anvils or pianos, I don't think a carpet will do that much damage.
..or use elephants for bombs ...or.....or....were-elephants!


Oh and don't cry for Pddysee I knew him, he'll not be missed.

Edit: Any similarities with any living or semiliving persons named "Pddsee" is unintended.
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Postby Coltess » Wed Jul 30, 2003 6:16 pm

Mukizu wrote:Carpet bomb cities?? why not bomb a city with anvils or pianos, I don't think a carpet will do that much damage.
..or use elephants for bombs ...or.....or....were-elephants!

It all started with the Turkish Sultan Abdullah the Great in 984 A.D. He created the first flying-carpet suicide squad which is believed to be the original inspiration for the Japanese Kamikaze flights of WWII.

These original Kamikazes (their name has been lost to history) would douse themselves and their carpets in a highly flammable oil, known as the Tears of God (ToG), dive on their designated target(s), set themselves on fire, and then crash into said area. Sometimes several pilots were assigned to the same target (to increase the likelihood of its destruction) due to the uncertainties of early carpet bombing methods.

With the Sultan’s personal guaranty that any suicide pilot would be assured a place in heaven, there was no shortage of willing pilots. All the pilots chosen for this honorable end were the very best of the Sultan’s pilots of ordinary flying carpets. Suicide carpets had only a pilot whereas the ordinary carpets had a pilot and an archer. The archers place was taken over by a large crock of ToG oil that added to the explosion upon impact. Obviously the art of flying a suicide carpet mission was not easily acquired. Not only did you have to be an ace flyer, but you also had to learn how set yourself on fire at the right time! Light the fire too early and you would never reach your target, light it too late and you wouldn't get the biggest "bang" possible. Extensive trials were conducted using prisoners of war and ordinary carpets dropped from tall towers to simulate the airflow and other conditions that would be experienced by the "pilots" to determine the proper time to light the fire.

Another area of research was just how to light the fire in the first place. Striking steel and flint to light the oil was quite difficult when traveling through the air at speed and often unreliable. Stories of Ahmed the Unlucky has survived to this time, and tell the story of Ahmed who survived no less than 5 of these suicide missions, because he was unable to light his fire in time. (Ahmed finally managed to light his fire on his sixth mission to destroy a camel dump in 1014.) Finally in 1045 A.D. a researcher in the Sultans court (His name was Al-BiC) invented a small clay oil lamp that protected the flame from excessive airflow (wind) and rain, but allowed the pilots to light themselves at just the right time. A further benefit was that if the pilot was shot down by enemy archers his lamp would break on impact and release the fire, thereby perhaps ensuring the successful completion of the mission.

The use of suicide carpet pilots tapered out around 1077 A.D. due to a critical shortage of one of the key ingredients needed to make flying carpets. And when Al-BiC’s son, Zippo, thought of attaching his father’s lamp to the crock of ToG oil, suicide pilots were not really necessary any more, which explains why they were never mentioned in the chronicles of the Christian Crusades which began in 1095.

Here endeth the lesson.
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Postby Mummu » Wed Jul 30, 2003 6:53 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Rubi-Ka for the Neutrals! Image
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Postby Firia » Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:14 am

I feel educated by your stories of crocks of sh- OIL. :lol:
Hehehhe! Very nice. :P
Like a Punk. :mrgreen:
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Postby Oddysee » Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:49 am

I feel... enlightened... and drunk...
What an odd combination...
:twisted: Tm
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Postby Coltess » Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:11 am

Oddysee wrote:I feel... enlightened... and drunk...
What an odd combination...
:twisted: Tm

The ability to see the truth comes with enlightenment (or is it the other way around?). And as the saying goes "From children and drunken people shall you hear the truth" so fret not that you feel enlightened Oddy! It is merely a sympton of your condition. :D
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Postby Oddysee » Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:18 am

Uhm... that makes sense... or... uhm... I'll tell you tomorro!
:twisted: Tm
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Postby Mukizu » Thu Jul 31, 2003 10:47 am

ahhh that's why carpet bombing is effectfull, I should have paid more attention in my historyclasses :)
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Postby Tacz » Thu Jul 31, 2003 10:25 pm

*notices everyone staring at him*

I may be the youngest guy here, but the truth us out THERE. *points into space*
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