made me giggle today

[Narcotic]

you've all probably seen these 6 thousand times.

W hy, Why, Why
Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear h elmets ?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE...

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

[Ceryn]

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Because it works

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? So that they can charge you twice

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Human nature is tactile

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? It does, however the sticking reaction requires the oxidisation of the glue, which cannot happen in a sealed bottle[b]

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? [b]The only needles the physician can get, are sterile

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Cheetah is a good barber

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Superman was NOT ducking from the gun thrown at him. He was tensing his muscles, PREPARING TO LEAP after the bad guy who was turning to flee as he threw the gun! It only LOOKS like Superman was ducking. That the gun happened to go over his head was only coincidental. It wouldn't have hurt him if it hit him in the face.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets ? Strange to think, but communications gear and stuff was and still is mounted in helmets, and the pilots, kamikaze or not, require it to ensure they hit their targets

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? Since LISP is a programming language, meaning LISt Processing, the idea was that of, John McCarthy at MIT

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Evolutionary diversification

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Light refraction

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Yes, but it is the poor fool that finds the store in which the sale isn't on

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Wishful thinking

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Because after a few dozen attempts, it is assumed that the string is stuck to the carpet, after a successful lifting operation, it is considered no longer to be stuck and can therefore be safely vacuumed, leading to hours of untangling fun as it jams up the machine

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? Cuz you always try and open the wrong end

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? The fixtures aren't exactly air-tight, and bugs are small

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Supermarket Ettiquette

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? Because you are too busy concentrating on the falling item, to notice that you are infact, a clumsy oaf

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? because in the summer, we cannot escape the heat, in winter, we are more interested in escaping the cold. Getting warm is easy, cooling is much harder to do

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Respect, and also because the mother role has always been the one to meddle and interfere. Fathers tend to be the ones sat in the corner, polishing the shotgun

And my FAVORITE...

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. This is not a question, however, I am aware that most of my friends are more nuts than I am, so I believe that this statement, may infact be wrong

[Volaterrae]

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

" It turns out that coloring a bubble is an exceptionally difficult bit of chemistry. A bubble wall is mostly water held in place by two layers of surfactant molecules, spaced just millionths of an inch apart. If you add, say, food coloring to the bubble solution, the heavy dye molecules float freely in the water, bonding to neither the water nor the surfactants, and cascade almost immediately down the sides. You'll have a clear bubble with a dot of color at the bottom."


From a cool popsci article I read a few years ago about a guy that spent 11 years inventing coloured bubbles.

link

[Acushla]

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

It has been my observation that statistics in general are little more than a method to lie on a grand scale. Plus which, even if you do trust the statistic you would need a larger sample than 4 people. for instance the stat you refer to is based on national average ... think about 14 Million people

[Tarryk]

Good list. I didn't bother reading the analytics that followed, I'm afraid, but for good reason.

A possible addendum to the list: What ever happened to the human satisfaction of simply grinning at a good irony?

[Renjori]

Good list. I didn't bother reading the analytics that followed, I'm afraid, but for good reason.

A possible addendum to the list: What ever happened to the human satisfaction of simply grinning at a good irony?

hah Theres defiantly a nail been hit on the head. Very good one. Whats the point of a rhetorical question if it'll only get answered?

[Cheese]

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

And I'm Damn proud to be [tick]

My favorite Why: Why is it that people who have never ever been outside the US, even Canada, are the first to talk about how superior the US is in every catagory to everything else?

On a different subject I think everyone should ask George Carlin Why we dont have fewer than 10 commandments.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCz0-HY1TLU